


Fire Meets Gasoline

by wintersxsoul



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Bisexual Loki (Marvel), Canon Bisexual Character, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I'll tag as I go, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Sexual Humor, Slow Burn, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, biker Loki, reader smokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersxsoul/pseuds/wintersxsoul
Summary: You leave your city to start over in your best friend’s town, oblivious to the fact that you have an unexpected roommate. What will happen when fire meets gasoline?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for having so many projects in mind and never finishing them oops. Give me feedback bitches so I feel motivated to keep writing cause yeah i need that.

                                                                    

 

New beginnings were supposed to be good, but first you needed to let go of your past and fix what was broken. You had to learn the hard way that no matter how far you run, you can’t run from yourself.

That’s why you found yourself knocking at your college best friend’s apartment, with your few belongings in a suitcase. You shifted your weight from one leg to the other, nervously tugging at your right sleeve, waiting for someone to open the door.

Two months ago, desperate and lost, you called Thor asking for advice. You wanted to leave your city and everything behind, so he offered his apartment, since he was moving with his girlfriend, Jane, to Norway. You left your job, your few toxic friendships and your booty call/boyfriend.

You raised your hand to knock again, but the door opened abruptly and your fist made contact with a chest. You were staring at your shoes, embarrassed to look at your victim.

You heard a throat clearing and you lifted your eyes slowly, taking in the man’s appearance. He was wearing black combat boots, black jeans, a white shirt and a leather jacket. Once you made eye contact, you felt your eyes widen at the sight. He had deep green eyes, pale porcelain skin, a sharp jaw and cheekbones framed by long raven hair.

“Liking what you see?” His tone was cold, probably because your staring. You smiled shyly and offered your hand.

“I’m Y/n, Thor’s friend.” He glared at you and huffed.

“And I am in a hurry, so if you could move from the fucking door, you’d do me a huge favor.” You stepped aside and he left, no more words exchanged.

“Rude.” You muttered to yourself, and at that exact moment, Thor appeared in your vision field. You dropped your belongings and ran to his open arms, hugging his neck and his waist with your legs. He held you tight and spun you around, giggling like a kid, just like you. You haven’t seen each other in almost two years, and you realized how much you had missed him. His golden hair was now short, his sides slightly shorter and he kept the top messy, he looked different without his long hair, but he still looked good. He gained muscle and was a bit tanned, but he still looked the same to you.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here!” He said, his voice full of joy and excitement.

“And I can’t believe I’m really here.” You said while he put you down so you could take your things and enter the apartment. “By the way, who was that rude asshole?” Thor frowned, confused, but his expression changed as soon as he realized who you were talking about.

“Yeah, about that…He’s my brother Loki, and your new roommate. Surprise?” You sighed and closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, trying not to lose your temper. It didn’t work.

“He’s mY WHAT? Thor, why didn’t you tell me your brother was back from wherever he’s been all these years?” You’ve never met Loki before, since when you met Thor, he was already living abroad, studying.

“Come on, don’t use your angry mom face on me.” You rolled your eyes and followed him through the wide apartment. He showed you the common areas, the bathroom and warned you about entering Loki’s room.

“If you want to survive, don’t you dare going in there.” He laughed at your disgusted expression, and you answered with a strong nod. Why would you want to go in there anyway? Thor opened a door, showing you your new room. The walls were white, giving the the space more light. There was a king sized bed besides the window, a bedside table with a black lamp, on top of the bed there was a shelf with plants, just like in the rest of the room. Your heart swelled, remembering Thor hated plants but knew you loved them, so he probably bought a shit ton of them so you could feel more at home.

“I love it so much! Thank you for doing this. You already know how much it means for me.” He side hugged you and you buried your head in his chest, embracing him by the waist. “As soon as I get a job, I’ll be able to pay monthly.”

“Y/n, don’t be silly. This apartment was my mother’s and it’s already paid, so no need to give me money. Just please, try not to kill Loki.” You frowned, why would you try to kill Loki, if Thor was with you? Your eyes widened in shock, when you realized there were only two bedrooms, and your was already empty of his stuff.

“Thor, where are you sleeping?” You asked him, already knowing the answer.

“At Jane’s, since we are leaving in a couple of days, we thought it was better to let you adapt to everything on your own.” You sighed, nodding.

You settled faster than you thought, since you had only brought a suitcase with your clothes and your few belongings, already placed in the room. You put your pajama on, which was an oversized shirt, and your cozy socks. It was winter, but the apartment was warm due to the calefaction, so you prefered your old shirt. You were sitting on the couch, your laptop in your lap and a glass of red wine in your hand, when you heard the front door opening. You sighed deeply, turning your head to the side and smiling to Loki. He gave you a confused look but was fastly replaced by a glare.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” He asked, with the same cold tone as the first time he spoke to you. You smiled at him even wider.

“Well, I’m your new roommate. Want a glass of wine?” You asked, obviously knowing the answer. He just huffed and fumed to his room, slamming his door shut. You raised your glass of wine and toasted with yourself.

“To new beginnings.”


	2. Chapter 2

Living with Loki was a nightmare. The first week you tried your best to befriend him or at least make him tolerate you. You made everything humanly possible to not get in his way, like staying in your room when he was at home or even organizing your trips to the bathroom so you wouldn’t encounter each other.

You found a job as a bartender a week after arriving to the city and that’s when the real shit began. You found yourself in a constant war over everything.

“LOKI, TURN THAT SHIT DOWN OR I SWEAR I’LL MURDER YOU!” You shouted while banging at Loki’s door, tired and with a terrible hangover from the previous night. Working at a bar had its ups and downs. Every night, you came home with a shit ton of tips and a new one-night stand, stumbling through the apartment tipsy and giggling. You discovered almost all of the nights the apartment was empty, your roommate probably slept with someone since he always came back in the mornings, waking you up by blasting through the speakers the noisiest songs he knew, but he preferred to play We will rock you. On repeat. At 8 am. So that’s how the war began.

“LOKI IF YOU DON’T TURN IT DOWN I’LL KICK THE DOOR DOWN AND THEN YOUR STUPID ASS.” He turned the volume up, ignoring you completely. You went to the light panel on the entry and switched off all the lights, the place illuminated just by the morning light coming through the windows.

As soon as the power was off, Loki stormed out of his room, raging.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He spat at you, reaching the general switch and turning all the lights on again, the music loud again.

“Loki, I’m begging you, please turn it down, at least until I sleep for more than two hours. Please.” You frowned at your own pleas, your intoxicated sleep deprived brain doing all the talking by its own. You’ve been living together for almost a month and the only few words exchanged were your complaints towards him and his rudeness.

“You know, the lives of others do not revolve around yours,  _princess_. Some of us have to work to pay for things and I need the fucking music to concentrate.” He slammed the door of his room, leaving you speechless due to his ignorance and coldness. You literally worked your ass off 6 days a week, you had to deal with drunken assholes and their harassment. You carried your energy drained body to your room, slumping on your bed, your face hitting the soft pillow and falling fast asleep, since Loki turned the music down, probably tired of your whining.  

Loki huffed as he sat on his chair, facing all the reading he had to do. Working as a book editor wasn’t easy at all and even less being a writer. He was stressed all the time since he was one of the best editors at the moment and everyone wanted to work with him.

As the morning went by, he realized he couldn’t stop thinking about you, about your tired face, your eyes full of rage and sadness, desperation in your voice as you asked him to please turn the music down. Why was he like that to you? He felt the guilt eating him alive, so he stood up sighing and went to your room, determined to apologize. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard you crying, speaking to someone on the phone.

“I know, it’s just…yeah yeah, but I’m tired of trying.” Loki was about to turn around and leave, when he heard his name.

“You never told me he was such an asshole…I know Loki is your brother, but he has nothing to do with you…No, Thor, he is a stone cold bitch and I- Who the fuck plays We will rock you at 8 am for fucks sake?” Your tone of voice changed, the anger overcoming the sadness. You heavily sighed and stood quiet for a while, listening to what Thor was probably telling you.

“Yeah…I just…I wish I’d never met him…” Loki stood there, shocked, not knowing what to do or say. He knew he acted like an asshole, but he never thought you would hate him so deeply. He made his way to his room, closing the door silently and getting dressed to go to his office.

After speaking with Thor, you felt slightly better. Maybe you misjudged Loki? Maybe he wasn’t in a good place, just like you. Thor also knew about your shitty relationship, if you could call it that, with Eric so he asked how were you dealing with everything.

You rolled on your bed, groaning at the sudden pang of hunger you felt. You stood up and went to Loki’s room, thinking of knocking and offering him lunch and an apology, when his door opened and he bumped into you.

“What the hell Y/n?” He asked you, frowning and glaring at you. You opened your mouth to answer, but he just pushed you to leave his room.

“Sorry, I-” You tried to say, but he just waved you off with a harsh “whatever” and left the apartment.

“So yep, back to hate him.” You told yourself, walking towards the kitchen to have something to eat. Today you started working at 9 pm, so you had time enough to read and nap a little bit after lunch.

A few hours later, you found yourself naked, with your wet hair wrapped around a towel, sitting in front of your closet not knowing what to wear. You really found amusing about yourself the huge contrasts you had in your tastes. You loved everything spooky related, zombie and vampire movies and books, paranormal and horror movies, victorian gothic romances, crows, bats, but you also loved floral patterned clothing, pastel colors, wildflowers and all that kind of things. So here you were, sitting in front of a closet full of lacy flower dresses and 70’s high waisted jeans with a wide leg. You rummaged through your drawers and found a pair of old mom jeans and a gray sweatshirt, you applied some mascara and left to the bar.

The Blood Moon, where you worked, was full of people today. Your daily clients were already drunk and loud, Sam, your colleague, was dealing with a dude who tried to touch your ass while you were pouring a drink to girl who caught your eye a few nights ago.

“So, what’s your name?” She asked you, leaning in so you could hear her properly. You smiled at her, taking in her appearance. She had golden, shoulder length hair, deep blue eyes framed by long and dense eyelashes, pouty lips painted in a deep red and the most beautiful smile you’d seen in a while.

“I’m Y/n, and you?” She answered but the loud music didn’t allow you to hear what she said, so you leaned in, face mere inches away from hers and she whispered in your hear her name.

“Valerie.” You moved a bit away from her and shot her a bright smile, not believing her name was as beautiful as her. You two kept talking for a while, flirting back and forth, and when you had your pause, you went out with her to smoke a cigarette. Valerie was talking about herself, and you were so captivated by her words you didn’t notice who was approaching the bar.

“Seriously?” Loki said, scanning you from head to toe and glaring. Your head snapped to the sound of his voice. Your eyes widened, taking in his look. He was wearing black jeans, a black shirt, his black combat boots and a sherpa trucker jacket, his black hair slicked back. He was looking like a goddamned snack, and you hated yourself for thinking of him in that way.

“Seriously, what?” You spat at him, already pissed because he cut Valerie. You felt a hand on yours, so you relaxed under her soft touch.

“It’s hard enough to deal with your presence at the apartment.” He said, looking at you and then at Valerie, who was standing right beside you.

“Oh, well then, I should tell my boss I’m quitting because my poor roommate can’t fucking stand me. Sounds fair, douchebag?” You threw the cigarette end and entered the bar, a confused Valerie next to you and a pissed Loki behind you. Great night, indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will help the plot hopefully. Don’t murder me for being a chaotic writer.

“Welcome to the Blood Moon, what would you like to drink tonight, asshole?” You spat at Loki, who was sitting down next to Valerie at the barstool. He smirked at you and you smiled back, faking it of course, since your boss was staring at you, as always. Jerk.

“What would the  _kind_ lady recommend?” He said ironically, Valerie was frowning, confused looking at you and Loki, back and forth.

“Y/n, I should really go, I have an early meeting at work.” You looked at her, disappointed at yourself for making her waste her time listening to your banter with your annoying roommate.

“Sure, would you like to grab a coffee soon, though?” You asked her, hoping she would agree and give you her number. She shot you a bright sincere smile and nodded, taking out from her bag a pen and taking your hand, writing at your palm her phone number.

“Call me or text me, okay?” You nodded and leaned in, giving her a kiss on her cheek. Valerie said goodbye to Loki and left, leaving you a bittersweet feeling about the encounter. You watched her leave, waiting for her to turn around or something, but that never happened. You were staring at the door when someone cleared their throat quite loudly. You sighed and rolled your eyes, looking back at Loki, who was now staring at you with a surprised expression. You frowned and asked him what was his problem, to which he answered that he would get cavities after seeing your little show.

You took your phone and wrote down Val’s number and texted her so she could save your number as well. Once you were done, you decided you could face the annoying asshole in front of you. The annoying  _hot_ asshole.

“I recommend you to have a glass of bleach, but since I wanna drink too, I will just mix some stuff. Is it okay?” He opened his mouth to answer but you cut him off. “I actually don’t care, I’ll do it anyways. Be right back.” You smiled at him sardonically and turned around to pour the drinks.

You handed him his shot, raising your own and downing it at once. You shivered as the cold fluid burned your throat, an amused Loki staring at you, his drink still untouched.

“Too much for you, or what?” You teased him, knowing for sure he would take that as a challenge. He rolled his  _ ~~beautiful~~_  green eyes and downed his shot, his face scrunched due to the strong liquor.

“Another.” You said while you turned around to refill the shots, not waiting for an answer.

 

* * *

 

After a few hours and almost a full bottle of vodka, you found yourself ordering french fries with mayonnaise. You sat on the curb on the sidewalk, in the parking lot where Loki had his motorcycle parked. He sat next to you and ate one of your fries, you glared at him but offered him more.

“So, Loki, why do you hate me so much, uh?” Your stupid inebriated brain asked, but you kept staring at your fries. He didn’t answer immediately so you looked at him, finding him staring at you in awe.

“I tried so hard to make you like me. I even cooked for you for a full week, and I  _hate_ fucking cooking. And you are just an asshole all the time. Do you want me to leave?” Loki was speechless, the guilt he felt that same day growing back on his chest. He was about to answer, when the words you spoke about him came back to his mind.

“Do you even care about what I think? It’s not like someone asked me if I was okay with a total stranger living in my apartment.”

“Well, sorry for messing your  _important_ and private life. Thor never told me about you being back.” You stood up and lit a cigarette, the toxic smoke relaxing your senses. So he finally told you why he hated you. Now you knew what he really thought about you, and if you were being honest, it was better than being ignored. What a pity he said it when you already were settled and had nowhere else to go.

Loki shrugged his shoulders and looked at the night sky, wondering if that really was the motive of his hatred towards you.

“Whatever, Y/n. I won’t kick you out if that’s what worries you.” He sounded…sad? Or was it the alcohol, playing tricks with your own mind? You wanted to go home, you wanted to forget everything for a night. You crossed your arms while smoking, thinking about what Loki said. He was right, he had all the right to be pissed because someone intruded, but it was not your fault, you didn’t know about his existence until you saw him at the apartment, and you really thought Thor talked to him about it, but he never did apparently. You turned around to face Loki, who was staring at the pavement intensely. He looked so beautiful under the pale moonlight and the street lights, his hair covering his face as he stared down and you suddenly felt the urge to ran your fingers through his raven locks. What the hell was going on in your mind? You threw your finished cigarette and started walking away.

“Hey, hey. Where are you going?” Loki stood up and grabbed your wrist, stopping you. You shook your arm trying to get rid of his grip and he let go of you.

“I’m going home, where I can’t bother you.” You turned around again and started walking, but he stopped you again. You sighed, slightly pissed.

“Let me give you a ride. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He said way too fast, not even thinking about what he was saying. You opened your mouth but he spoke faster than you. “Thor would murder me if someone happened to you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, I can take care of myself.” You huffed, tired of men thinking they were actually important and relevant in a woman’s life.

“I know you don’t need me, but please, let me take you home.” He said, sincerely. So Thor really did scold him.

“Okay, fine. Are you drunk, though?” He shook his head and pointed to his bike with his head. He walked to the vehicle and you followed him, unsure about all this situation. Loki opened the seat and pulled out his leather jacket, handing it to you, since you just brought your sweatshirt. He got on the bike and waited for you to get up to start the engine, leaving the parking lot behind.

You snuggled into the jacket and used the opportunity to smell Loki’s scent, which was a mix of cinnamon and lavender. He accelerated, so you grabbed his waist and pressed your body against his back. You’ve always been scared of bikes, and you just realized you were in one, with someone you didn’t trust the slightest. Loki felt your tight grip around his body, so he slowed down, feeling you relax against his body again, but never letting go.

Your not so drunk self decided it was a good idea to explore his chest with your palms, going up and down, a small smile forming on your lips, knowing what that did to a man’s body. You rested your hands on his lower belly, your pinkies almost touching his bulge. Loki’s body stiffened at your contact, but he soon reacted and took your hand in his, placing it right above his crotch.

You moved your hands again and placed them on his back, under his clothes, his cold skin reacting to your hot one. Goosebumps erupted on his skin, and he knew right away this night was going to be a huge mistake.

“You still want to drink?” Loki asked, already in your room. You arrived to your apartment and decided to keep drinking, so you invited him to continue the little party. You shook your head and sat, Loki looking at you in awe, laying across the bed beside you. In a shift move, you were straddling him, your fingers gracefully tracing patterns on his chest, until you reached his waistband.

You groaned in pain when the sunlight hit your face, the strong headache numbing your thoughts. You moved and stretched your arm, making you panic when it touched something more than just pillows. You shot your eyes open and looked over your shoulder, your blood running cold when you realized who was beside you, sleeping soundly.

Fuck. You stood up and ran to the bathroom, emptying the nonexistent contents of your stomach. You slept with Loki. This was not happening. You had just one rule, no sleeping with someone who didn’t mean anything to you and you just fucked that up because of one stupid night. Loki didn’t mean nothing to you, he was just your roommate, not even your fucking friend. What have you done? Why the fuck were you overreacting?


	4. Chapter 4

After the whole Eric situation, you swore to yourself you wouldn’t let another person sleep with you, not when you were sure it was just something physical. Missing someone’s body next to yours at night was the worst feeling ever, the emptiness of the bed spreading through your hollow chest. All the sleepless nights you experienced made you realize the huge mistake you made a while ago.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, checking for any evidence of last night, but there were no love bites or swollen lips, but you were 100% sure you had sex with Loki. That was not the problem, the problem was that he stayed in your bed, with you.

You barged into your bedroom, hoping Loki was gone, but there he was, smiling at you. You glared at him and he frowned.

“What happened?” You asked him, the obvious annoyance in your voice.

“Well, we had sex and-” He started saying, but you cut him off, needing a different answer.

“Yeah, I know we had sex, asshole. Why the fuck are you still in my bed. Why didn’t you go to your own room to sleep?” He was looking at you, confused.

“We just fell asleep, what the fuck is wrong with you?” He spat while standing up and getting dressed. You turned around to give him privacy, since you couldn’t remember the whole thing. Yeah, sure, it was your idea to suck his dick, but you were not expecting the outcomes of it. Like falling fucking asleep with him.

You knew you were overreacting and your own mind wasn’t making sense, but it was your way to protect yourself from the possible comments or actions that could come afterwards.

“Relax, Y/n, it was just a one time thing. You said that yourself.” He said right before leaving you on your empty room. You approached your bed and threw yourself back on the pillows.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” You shouted to the pillow, muffling your voice. The fucking bed smelled like him.

You really wanted the bed to swallow you whole for being over dramatic and for falling asleep last night. You heard the shower so you took that opportunity to call Valerie, but she cut the call. You frowned and pressed your face to the pillow again, not knowing what to do with yourself on your day off. After fifteen minutes or so, your phone buzzed.

_**Valerie** : Hey! Sorry I cut the call, I was at the meeting I told you about last night. Hope everything is okay :)_

Fuck, you totally forgot about her telling you that. You looked at your screen, unsure of what to say.

_**Y/n** : Hey, sorry I totally forgot. Would you like to grab a coffee and maybe lunch? It’s my day off._

You pressed send and waited not so patiently for her reply. When you saw the three dots, you panicked.

_**Valerie** : It’s a date! Send me your address, I’ll pick you up in 45 minutes. Wear something cute ;)_

And so you did and seconds later, you were picking up your outfit and heading towards the already empty bathroom. The burning water fell on your body, calming all the nerves you felt about everything that had happened in less than 12 hours.

While you showered, Loki was sitting on his desk, trying to comprehend the situation he just lived. He couldn’t understand why you panicked over a shared bed, when you were the one who showed interest first. He had wanted to fuck you since the first day he saw you at his door, but now that it happened, he felt like he could move on. It was not bad sex, but you were so cold and then morning came. You didn’t even let him kiss you while doing it, for fuck’s sake.

You looked at yourself once again in the mirror, admiring the dress you carefully chose. It was a  skater dress, a rusty color and white flowers. You styled it with your white converse and a small yellow backpack. You finished applying mascara and lipstick when you received a text message.

_**Valerie** : I’m down._

Before you closed the door, you could hear Loki’s door opening and calling out your name, but you decided to ignore it and go on with your day.

Val showed you around the city, since you haven’t seen much after a month living here. She took you to her favorite Greek restaurant to have lunch and to her favorite coffee shop. Next stop was a small bookshop owned by her grandparents friends.

You stared at the dusty bookshelves in awe, the smell of old paper and ink filling your senses, Valerie holding your hand all the time. She was wearing a black sweater, light grey pleated pants and black oxfords. Her short blonde hair, wavy and she was just wearing gloss. She looked gorgeous.

“What are you thinking about?” Val asked you, standing shyly in front of you. You smiled at her and placed a strand of her hair behind her ear, caressing softly the side of her face.

“I’m thinking about how gorgeous you look. So ethereal and effortless.” You answered honestly. She blushed but placed a kiss to your cheek.

“Kinda makes me wonder if I wanna kiss you or be you.” You teased and she laughed, the sound music to your ears. But even though you wanted to kiss her, you knew it was going to be just a one time thing, since your stupid brain couldn’t separate correctly feelings. Valerie was a nice girl, sweet and beautiful, but something in you told you she was not the one. You walked around the shop for half an hour and bought a copy of a book you’ve been planning on reading since it came out. It was a romantic novel, written by some mysterious guy who called himself God of Mischief. The name was interesting to say the least, but it still brought your attention, so after reading so many positive reviews, you decided to buy it.

Valerie left you at home after having dinner in a small dinner, after you declined the offer to go to sleep to her house. You really didn’t wanna be that kind of person. You couldn’t be like Eric.

You arrived to your apartment’s door and something felt odd, and as you stepped in the empty room, you understood why.

There was clothing items scattered all over the place, the armchair almost in the middle of the living room, when its usual place was a corner. You walked towards your bedroom silently and closed the door, trying to be as quick and quiet as possible.

At 4 am something woke you up. At first, you didn’t understand what was going on, but as the minutes went by, everything made sense. Loud moans and groans came from Loki’s bedroom, the banging of his headboard on the wall confirming the already obvious situation.

This is a joke.


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks and months went by, Loki and you never spoke about what happened, well, you barely spoke at all, so why bring that up?

After Valerie’s date, you met up with her again to explain why you didn’t want anything more than a friendship. She understood the situation and told you that you could be friends, so of course you agreed and after a few months, she became your best friend. Loki kept bringing people at night, different men and women leaving the apartment every morning. To say his night sessions were loud was an understatement, so after a week of him doing that, you had enough, and started doing the same (kicking them out at night, of course). Most of your sex partners complained about what was happening in the room next to yours, but all you did was just trying to be louder than Loki.

You fought more often and he kept going to The Blood Moon to piss you off and to meet his random hook ups. Six months went by without you even realizing, the grief of your old life already healed. October was around the corner, and since it was your favorite month, you convinced your boss to give you your vacations, so you could enjoy the spooky month properly.

From the 1st of October to the 10th, you went back to your hometown to visit your family, staying in with your parents or going out but with them, you were anxious all the time, scared to see everyone you ran away from.

“Val, I’m not sure if I will ever recover from this asshole. I can’t even visit my parents without the fear of seeing him.” You were speaking on the phone with Val, oblivious to the fact that Loki was in the kitchen, trying not to eavesdrop but failing at it.

“Well, never mind. How are you, though?” You asked her without letting her comment anything about Eric.

“I’m good, Rae and I decided to take the next step in our relationship. And omg girl, I got promoted!! Can you believe?” You shouted back excited for your friend matching her own happiness. She met Rae at your bar four months ago and they hit it off immediately.

“I’m so happy for you two girls. The gays are finally having their moment.” You heard Val chuckle and you laughed, feeling genuinely happy for her.

“Well sis, I gotta go, I’m in the middle of my spooky marathon.” Val let out a loud sigh in a joking way.

“You’re a nerd. I love you and enjoy! And please try not to kill Loki!!” You hanged after saying your goodbyes.

You sighed and reached for the remote, but before you could hit play, Loki sat next to you on the couch and looked at you, smiling.

“Can I join you?” You looked at him frowning, trying to catch his intentions, but he seemed to really mean the question.

“Well, it’s your apartment after all, you can do whatever you want to.”

Loki shook his head.

“It is our apartment. Y/n, you…I’m” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“I wanted to apologize for making you feel rejected when you first came here. I know it wasn’t your fault but…” He shrugged his shoulders and continued his apology. “There’s no one else to blame but me.”

You were looking at him in awe, not truly believing your ears. You blinked, not really knowing what to say.

“Look, it’s fine. I understand you. I would have done the same thing if someone unknown entered my life without permission. I just wish we could’ve had a better start.” You reply sincerely, glad that he started the conversation. He extended his hand for you to shake it, in a peace offering manner.

“Would be nice to start over? What do you say?” He asked, his hand still waiting for yours. You looked at it and then back to his face, a smirk forming on your lips. You shook his hand and nodded.

“Deal. Now, if you want to join me, fine. But we are watching whatever I choose, I’ve got a marathon to do.” He looked at you, curiously. He already knew about the “spooky marathon” since he overheard you speaking to Valerie, but he wanted to know more about it.

“Marathon? Of what?” You smiled and turned your body to his, excitedly, ready to explain your ritual. You clasped your hands together and started explaining, Loki looking at you with wide eyes.

“October is my favorite month, since it’s the spooky month. Every year, I try to watch as many vampire and zombie movies I can.” He nodded, so you continued.

“I’ve seen most of them a lot of times, but I just love them so much.”

Loki was amazed, he thought you were the rom com kind of girl, who loved sappy movies and hated scary shit. But he was wrong. You told him that you’ve always been a huge fan of vampires and zombies, horror films and books.

“So what movie are we watching today?” He asked, a bit terrified with the idea of watching a horror film, since he was the one who hated them.

“Today?” Was he planning to do the marathon with you?

“Yeah, like what is the movie you have planned for today?” Oh, okay. You normally liked to do the marathon alone, no one really understood why you did it or they didn’t even liked the movies you liked, so you just assumed no one wanted to do it.

“Uhmm, I was thinking of 1931 Dracula?” Loki nodded, not even knowing there was such an old version of the movie.

“You want a beer while I look for the movie?” You asked, excited to give him one of your special beers. You really needed new friends, the only one you had was Valerie and you felt lonely. Sure you met a lot of people and hooked up with even more, but it wasn’t the same. You needed and wanted someone to watch movies with, share your daily stories from the bar or just laugh with someone about stupid shit.

“Yes! But let me get them.” He said and stood up, but you stopped him.

“No, no. I have a new beer to try. The movie must be in the shelf next to the TV, why don’t you get it?” Loki went to the shelf and checked all the movies you had trying to find the one you asked for. While he read the titles, he realized almost all the movies you owned were gothic victorian romances, he knew some of them but they were practically unknown for him.

You came back to the living room and found Loki staring at the shelf, looking through all your movies. You felt embarrassed, they were a very important piece of yourself and having an almost stranger reading all the titles you loved felt weird. You cleared your throat to announce yourself and he turned around. He saw the two bottles you had in your hand and let out a chuckle.

“Are you planning on murdering me and bathing in my blood?” You snorted jokingly and laughed. The beers were tinted in red and the bottles were like the “True Blood” tv show ones, and it looked real as fuck.

“Yeah, you wish. Let’s watch the movie.” You said while plopping down on the couch, followed by him.


	6. Chapter 6

“I loved it! But I only have one question. They couldn’t find rats so they used armadillos?” Loki asked confused. Of course you knew the answer, when you first watched the movie and saw the armadillos, you did your research.

“Well, apparently in the 20s and 30s, armadillos weren’t very common, so moviemakers would use them as a creepy, “demonic” animal.” He stared at you with a weird expression, and you started to panic, thinking that maybe you were being too much.

“I’m sorry, I just…I don’t know.” Loki saw the shift in your expression and the excitement glint in your eyes disappear. He couldn’t understand why you were apologizing but as soon as he studied in detail your body language, it clicked.

“How can you know that?” He wanted you to regain the enthusiasm you had while watching the movie and explaining to him the facts you knew. He looked at you, expectant, waiting for an answer.

“I was as shocked as you when I first saw it, so I did some digging.” You shrugged and remembered another fact. “Dracula also has a Jerusalem cricket as a pet, with its tiny little coffin and all.” You said in a laugh. You really loved knowing small facts about so many movies.

Loki’s phone buzzed on the small table in front of you. He stared at you a little longer, even though you weren’t speaking, and grabbed his phone.

“Hello?” He answered frowning but as soon as the other person spoke, his face lit up. You moved to stand up but he grabbed your wrist and stopped you. You looked at him confused.

“Yes, I know…Yes, she’s here…Right now?” Loki nodded and pressed the FaceTime button, showing Thor and Jane on the screen. You moved closer to Loki when he made a small movement with his head for you to get in the call.

“Hello Y/n!!” Both Jane and Thor said, waving at you enthusiastically. You smiled at them widely.

“Hello guys! How is everything going?” You asked, excited to finally being able to see your best friend after such a long time. Jane was talking about a project she was working on for NASA and Thor was just standing next to her, looking at her like she held the whole universe in her eyes. You felt your heart swell in your chest, happy tears for your friends threatening to fall.

“Enough of us. How are you two?” You shared a look with Loki, neither of you knowing what you could answer. After the conversation you had today, you knew things were going to be different, but you weren’t friends yet so you both just shrugged in order to answer.

“We are okay I guess? We haven’t killed each other, which is a great improvement, seeing how everything started.” You looked at Loki for his approval and you found him already looking at you, smiling in a friendly way.

“Well, isn’t that oportune, babe?” Thor winked at Jane, both of them smiling widely. You looked at Loki to see his expression, but he was as clueless as you. If “????” could be spoken, Loki and you would probably be shouting it.

”Guys, what the fuck is going on?” Loki finally asked, since Thor and Jane were just giggling, not able to speak.

“We are getting married!” Thor said as Jane raised her left hand to show her engagement ring. You stared at the screen in awe, tears rolling through your cheeks.

Loki was looking at you, knowing he was out of sight of Thor and Jane, spilling happy tears for his brother.

“And we want you to be the groomsman and the bridesmaid.” You spoke on the phone with them a little longer until they had to hang up.

You couldn’t believe you had to go to Norway with Loki. The wedding was 1 year away but knowing how you two were around each other, could you actually trust nothing bad was going to happen?

 

 

 

A couple of days after Thor’s call, you were laying in your bed half asleep, when your alarm went off. Your vacations were over and you had to go back to your insane routine. You dragged your feet to the kitchen to brew some coffee and as you waited for it to be ready, a message popped in.

**_Unknown number_** :  _Hello Y/n, it’s me, Eric. I don’t know what happened to you, but I tried to call you and I even went to your house, but your parents told me you left and changed your phone number._

_I really miss you and all the things we used to do together. I miss my friend. Do you remember when we used to fuck all day long? I really do._

_I just wanted to remind you that whenever you want to come back or just have sex, I’ll be here._

A sob escaped your lips, breaking the silence of the room. You couldn’t believe what  your eyes just read. After he used you, played with your feelings and made you fall in love with him through manipulation, put all your group of friends against you by lying, he had the fucking audacity to talk to you and ask you to basically have sex again with him. He told all your friends you were talking shit behind their backs, when in reality, it was him who did that. You explained yourself but they all rejected you, so you left, with a broken heart. You lost a fake love you thought it was real and friendships that you thought they were going to last forever. Eric was still oblivious to all the pain he’d caused and you were just a coward who couldn’t confront the truth, which was that he never cared for you, not in the slightest, he just cared about him and his dick.

You decided not to answer and block the number, so he couldn’t text you or call you again. You got dressed, wearing a cute floral shirt and high waisted black jeans, your hair up in a messy bun and a dark red lipstick. You were ready to face the night with a newfound strength.

The Blood Moon was full, the usual customers already drunk as fuck, half asleep on the overused leather barstools. Loki was around the bar as well, flirting with a redhead. You shook your head, smiling at the sight of your friend being a total flirt. You were so happy you fixed things with him a couple of weeks ago and now got to call him friend, happy to finally have someone to talk at night about everything and watching your favorite movies together. The last movie you had seen together was one of your absolute favorite ones, called Only Lovers Left Alive, and he loved it so much he even suggested to watch it once a month. After all your failed friendships, you believed you finally had a second chance with Val, Thor and Loki.

“What is a girl like you, doing in a place like this?” You turned around rolling your eyes at the comment but letting out a chuckle.

“Waiting for someone like you, of course.” You winked at Loki while you poured his favorite mix in a tall glass and handing him a free shot.

“Are you coming home tonight?” He asked, probably trying to avoid having sex with someone while you were there with someone else as well. You shrugged and answered.

“Haven’t found my prey yet. I’ll text you to let you know, okay?” He nodded and smiled at you, pointing with his head at the redhead and moving through the sea of people to reach her.

A couple hours later, a few shots and a new arm to cling to, you texted Loki to let him know you were headed home and be there in 20 minutes.

_**Loki** : Cool, she’s already asleep so no prob. I will use my noise cancelling headphones. Have a good night._

_-_

“Hey…hey?” You shook Tyler’s arm, trying to wake him up so he could leave.

“Tyler?” You tried again and again, but nothing woke him. You sighed and left your room, wrapped in a blanket with your cozy socks, ready to sleep on the couch.

You entered the living room silently, trying not to wake up everyone else.

“Hello?” you asked, as you heard someone in the room.

“Hey, it’s just me.” Loki said as he sat down on the couch with a book on his hands. You plopped down next to him and wrapped the blanket closer to your body.

“Can’t sleep?” You kind of whispered him. He nodded and opened the book. He was reading… Shakespeare??!!

“What about you?” He asked, not even looking up from his book. He was wearing glasses, a black shirt and grey sweats, his hair in a very messy braid.

“The jerk fell asleep and I can’t wake him up, so I was planning on sleeping on the couch.” You shrugged, trying to play the matter down, but it didn’t work.

“And you can’t sleep there?” You shook your head and began explaining him why.

“That’s why you panicked when we slept together?” You nodded, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry I was such an ass, I didn’t know it held so much meaning to you.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know it and it was unintentional.” You told him, really meaning it.  


	7. Chapter 7

[ Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0CEoLq0ZRCRpO9h7g8Xr4m)

 

You spent hours talking to Loki, night after night, finding out details about each other you would have never imagined. He told you he worked as a book editor, it was his biggest dream since his mother, Frigga, introduced him to literature, from the biggest classics, to mythology, romances and non fictional books. You found endearing the way he spoke about his mother, long gone due to a disease that took her life. Loki also told you about the toxic relationship he had with his father, who hid from him that he was adopted, making him believe he was unworthy of the family he had, always making him feel inferior and small. At first, he blamed Thor,  but as years went by, he realized he was the only person he could trust no matter what.

One rainy night, the bar half empty since it was almost the closing time, you received a text from Loki.

 

**_Loki_ ** _ : Come home as soon as you get out, alone. _

 

You frowned, since he was always encouraging you to bring people over at night. You answered an Ok and tried not to think about it, but you failed, of course. Something about the whole night felt odd, and now adding the text. Maybe something happened to him? Or to Thor or Jane? Val took Rae to her hometown so she could meet her parents, so it could be nothing related with them. While you were overthinking and cleaning the bar, another message popped in.

 

**_Loki:_ ** _ I’m picking you up, be there in 10. _

 

What the fuck was going on? You knew Loki wasn’t going out today cause he had a lot of reading to do, and it was almost 4 am. You finished closing the bar as fast as you could and stepped into the cold rainy night, scanning the street, looking for your friend.

You heard his bike approaching and shivered, your body reminding you the inappropriate dress you were wearing for this type of night. He stopped in front of you and got off the bike, handing you a small bag.

“What is this?” You asked opening the bag. Inside, there was a pair of his sweats and a hoodie.

“I knew you were wearing that tiny dress, it would really suck for you to die on me.” He smirked and waited for you to put on the cozy clothes on top of your dress. 

“Ugh, I could kiss you right now.”

“Yeah, I would too. Anyway, hop on, we gotta go.” He said in a not so jokingly tone. You did what he told you without hesitation, still wondering what was going on. The ride back home was fast and when he parked, your blood froze in your veins. 

“Who...Loki, who’s car is that?” You asked pointing towards the familiar car that was parked in front of the building. If it really was who you thought, you were doomed.

“A friend of yours? He came earlier asking for you, he said you invited him over.” Loki scanned your face, but it was devoid of emotion due to the shock. He was here, that meant he really cared for you after all. Maybe you were acting out of spite and just left without saying goodbye. Maybe, after all, he loved you back. 

“Is he in the apartment?” Loki nodded firmly, still trying to understand what was going on. As soon as he saw your eyes widen, he understood it was more than just a friend.

“I think I’m calling Tom to sleep with him, so you can have some intimacy.” You wanted him to stay, so you didn’t have to face Eric on your own, your rational part was screaming at you, telling you to stop Loki from leaving, but you just nodded and told him something you don’t even remember anymore. Loki looked at you one more time as you entered the building, trying to guess what was going through your mind, worried for you. You never told him what made you leave, what made you be so cold, you never told him the guy you were about to see was the reason you were so scared of a shared bed. As you climbed the stairs to the third floor, your brain was running wild. Will he look like always? Did he changed his haircut? Was he going to smell sweet like he always did? Did he still smelled like home? You stopped dead in your tracks in front of your door, fixing your hair and looking at your clothes. You stripped off Loki’s clothes, wearing just the black velvet dress you wore that night. You sniffed your hair, realizing it smelled like your roommate. Would Eric mind if your hair smelled like Loki? Was he going to notice? 

You inhaled and exhaled deeply a couple of times and entered the apartment. You could feel he was there, smelling his strong perfume from the entrance, already knowing where he was. You slowly walked to the living room, your anxiety skyrocketing, but every fear left your body as soon as you saw him, staring straight at you, a soft smile on his lips. You felt a pang of pain in your chest, almost a year without seeing him, missing him but trying to suppress those feelings for your own sake, tricking yourself so you could hate him. You dropped your stuff and ran towards him, jumping into his open arms, back home, forgetting everything he did, forgiving him, once more.

“Hey, stranger.” He said, letting you go. He caressed your cheek and pressed his lips on yours, making you melt into the kiss. Your brain reacted and you broke the kiss, taking a few steps away from him, wiping your lips.

“What are you doing here?” You tried to sound harsh and pissed, but your voice betrayed you, trembling. 

“I texted you but I never got a reply, I also tried calling but I never could reach you. I thought maybe something happened to you.” Eric knew you blocked him, he knew why you left and he knew he still had you wrapped around his finger, that’s why he lied, knowing you were oblivious. You opened your mouth to reply, but he cut you off.

“I really missed you.” He saw in your eyes a flash of hope, his cue to once more, use you to his own benefits. 

“I missed you, too.”

“Really? That’s why you never called or texted?” Once more, your guilty conscience betrayed you. 

“I’m sorry, life got really busy and I-” He cut you off again, stepping closer to you.

“I really missed you, your lips, your body, your smell…” He was so close you could feel his breath fanning your lips. You made the mistake of looking into his hazel eyes, getting lost in them. This time, it was you who pressed your lips together, throwing out the window all kind of rational thinking. Eric felt powerful, finally he was getting one last fuck from you, because that’s why he was there, that’s why he came back. He wanted to ditch you, since you hurt his pride by ditching him all those months ago. 

 

-

 

You sighed contently when the sun rays hit your face, knowing you were going to wake up next to him. You stretched your arm to touch his body, but all you found was an empty bed. You opened your eyes and frowned, scanning the room. There was no trace of him, not his clothes, or his phone. Nothing. You put on the clothes that you found closer and stepped out of the room, you heard someone rummaging in the drawers of the kitchen, so you followed your instinct. 

“Rise and shine, beauty. Want some coffee?” Loki asked you lively, not even looking at you. You frowned, thinking it was Eric.

“Yes, please. Where is he?” A smile forming at the corner of your lips, hoping that Loki knew something. He finally turned around, taking in your looks. Your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, neck full of hickies and you were wearing the clothes he lend you last night.  

“What do you mean? You didn’t kick him out?” Confused, Loki placed the two cups of coffee on the kitchen countertop, setting yours in front of you.

“No, he...we...I let him sleep with me.” You brought your hands to your mouth, staring blankly at the floor, your whole face scrunching in pain. You felt your heart break again, the ache unbearable. You pressed your hand to your chest, where your aching heart was beating rapidly, your whole body trembling, silent tears falling from your eyes to the floor. 

“Y/n? What happened?” Loki was next to you, held you in his arms, pressing your shocked body close to his, stroking your hair.

 

“He did it again.” You managed to say between sobs.

“Who was he, Y/n? You could hear the concern in his voice. Your knees gave in and Loki sat you both on the floor, sitting you in his lap, pressing your head to his chest, rocking your body slowly. After what felt like an eternity, the sobs and the nausea faded, leaving your body drained and numb. 

“He was the reason I left.”


	8. Chapter 8

You’ve always had the bad habit of running away from everything. Sometimes it was a good option, most of the times, you fucked up. This time, it was going well. After what happened with Eric, you spent your days and nights crying yourself to sleep, not even eating or going to work.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and before you could even realize, Christmas was two weeks away.

Loki was desperate, he felt useless and even though he tried everything to get you out of your room, nothing seemed to work. He offered you movie nights, take out dinners, going out to have a few drinks, meeting his friends, speaking to Thor and the list went on.

“I’ve had enough.” Loki said in a huff, slamming the desk with his palms and getting up from the chair, almost throwing it to the floor. He got dressed as fast as he could, grabbed his bike keys and left his room towards yours. He could still hear your sobs, even though they were starting to calm, but he knew better.

Was someone banging on your door? You removed one headphone, pressed pause and tried to focus on the sounds surrounding you. Silence. Right before pressing play again, you heard Loki grunting something loudly at the other side and started to bang the door again.

“What?” You spit out, immediately regretting your tone, since he was the one who had to deal with all your bullshit.

Loki really had had enough of your mopping around the house and the loud sobs at 4 am. He really understood what you were going through, but it was killing him to see his friend suffer and not being able to help. He stormed in the room, eyes scanning the place before landing on you.

“You have ten minutes to shower and get dressed.” You looked at him raising a brow, ready to open your mouth to answer a stern no.

“I’m not asking you, Y/n. So get out of the fucking bed before I do that myself.” He turned around and left, closing the door behind him. With a groan, you stood up and went to the shower, cursing Loki. Where the fuck was he taking you on a Tuesday night at 3 am? You showered as fast as you could and got dressed similar to how Loki was.

You stepped out of your room and he stared at you in awe, probably because he thought you wouldn’t do what he told you to.

Loki fought the urge to drop his jaw at the sight of you. You were wearing a simple all-black outfit, combat boots and leather jacket included, the red nail polish sticking out since it was the only color you were wearing. He was so used to your work outfits or your pajamas, that when he saw you, he couldn’t tear his eyes from you.

“Is there something wrong? Should I change?” You asked concerned, tugging at your jacket sleeve.

_ A week after what happened with Eric, you knew you really fucked up this time, your heart aching like it never did, not for him, but the realization that no matter what he did, you were always going back to him, because it was the closest you’ve ever been to being “loved”. You moved through the bar by pure instinct, not even listening to the disgusting comments your boss was telling you. _

_ “What?” He asked you something you couldn’t catch due to the loud music and the people talking. He approached you, leaning in way too close to whisper something in your ear. _

_ “I said, would you like to give a use to that little mouth of yours?” You felt your whole body freeze, a shiver running down your spine. You stepped aside and looked at him straight in the eye, removing the apron and throwing it to his face. _

_ “Shove this up your ass until you choke with it, you piece of shit.” _

 

The night you quit your job, you arrived home earlier, of course, and Loki had the same expression as the one he had now. The clothes were different, so you couldn’t really understand why he was looking at you like that.

He shook his head and gave you a small smile, internally thanking the dim lighting of the hallway for not showing his blushed face.

“Let’s go.” He offered you his arm, waiting for you to link yours, and so you did. You looked at him and smiled back, still wondering where the fuck he was taking you this late.

“Are you planning my murder? That’s where you are taking me? Am i finally dying?” You asked jokingly, knowing how much he hated when you did that. He hopped on the bike and started the engine, waiting now for you to sit.

“Can you just shut up and enjoy a little adventure?” He added before leaving the parking spot. You wrapped your arms around his waist, like you always did, not knowing why, since he never sped up. You felt secure with him, a kind of trust you’d never found on anyone else. He was always there for you, comforting you as best as he could, trying to cheer you up with the things he knew you loved. He even brought home a present one day, it was a 15" stuffed crow. You would never admit it, but you slept with it and hugged it at night when you couldn’t sleep, when the emptiness in your chest was too much to handle, it reminded you that you were not alone. You would have never guessed when you first met him that he was going to be such an important pillar in your life, someone who really cared about you and your feelings, someone who knew your weirdest and vulnerable self and enjoyed spending time with you.

The cold wind was hitting you in the face, your head resting on Loki’s shoulder, your grip around him tightening trying to keep yourself warm. The longing feeling rested quietly in your heart as you left the city lights behind, the empty road was now surrounded by trees and the dim moonlight illuminating the way. 

Loki felt your body relax against his, wondering what was going through your mind. Whenever he needed an escape, he came to the same spot, a hidden viewpoint surrounded by trees, away from the loud city. Being an important book editor AND a bestseller writer was hard and stressful, and adding his concern towards you to that list made things even worse. His breath hitched when he saw you from the rearview, your eyes were closed, the moonlight softening your already angelic features. He knew you were pretty, everyone could see that, but the more he knew you, the more beautiful he seemed to see you. He wanted to know every little aspect of your personality, all your dreams and passions, what were the small details of life that made you smile or tear up. As a best friend, it was normal to feel that way, right? That animal instinct to protect you from everyone and everything, sometimes overwhelmed him, since he couldn’t understand why he only felt it for you and no one else of his friends, not even Thor. He looked at you once again, your eyes already looking at him through the rearview, a small smile in your lips, making Loki smile as well. 

You snuggled closer to him, trying to warm up. Loki parked in a clearing in the woods, next to a small cliff that had the best view of the entire city. You hopped off the bike, and went to the edge of the viewpoint, taken aback by the beauty of the sight in front of you. Loki was next to you seconds later, placing on your shoulders a fluffy blanket and running his hands up and down your arms, trying to warm you up. 

“I should’ve warned you to bring warmer clothes, sorry.” You looked at him, shaking your head. 

“It’s fine, I think my body is just used to my bed’s temperature.” You said in a low voice, almost a whisper. You stood there in a comfortable silence, looking at nothing in particular. You wrapped your arm around Loki’s waist and he placed his arm on your shoulders, the most platonic gesture in the world, you thought to yourself.

“Y/n, you can’t continue doing what you are to yourself.” he added after a while. You sighed, knowing he was right. You had to move on, you couldn’t stop your life just because thing didn’t work the way you wanted them to. No one ever told you how hard it was to grieve someone when they were still alive.

“I know. I’m currently looking for a new job. I already have an interview in a couple of days.”

“Really? Where?” He asked enthusiastically, unable to hide the pride and happiness he felt for you at that moment. You were finally moving forward.

“At the small bookshop near the center. I would actually love to work there, I hope everything goes well in the interview.” You sounded so excited about it it made Loki smile. He could pull some strings if you needed to, but he was sure you were going to get the job.

You kept talking for hours, sitting at a huge rock, about Loki’s job and his friends, who wanted to meet you.

“If you truly believe in reincarnation, what would you like to be in your next life?” Loki looked at you, his curiosity surprising you. You looked at the sky, the most beautiful colors you had ever seen, the birds flying in the horizon, seeming to be flying close to the rising sun.

“I would be a bird. They’re free to go wherever they want to. I would love to just spread my wings and disappear. And you?” Loki was speechless, not expecting your answer at all, he remembered with a smile one of his favorite scene from a movie.

“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” You snapped your head to look at him with an amused expression. He tore his eyes from the skyline and looked at you, his brow furrowed at your expression. You smirked and elbowed him jokingly.

“I can’t believe you just quoted The Notebook. You’re such a dork.” You said between giggles.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen that movie.” He tried to hide the embarrassment he was feeling because he got caught. He never would’ve thought you knew that movie, since you were always complaining about how much you hated sappy movies and rom coms.

“You know that’s not true, but I’ll let it pass, I’m too tired to argue.” Loki stood up and offered you his hand so you could stand up easily. You made your way to the bike, still holding hands, none of you wanting to let go. 

The way back was faster and just before going into your respectively rooms, you stopped Loki in the hallway, hugging him.

“Thank you so much for tonight, I really needed this.” You mumbled against his chest, the knot on your chest loosening. Loki hugged you back, planting a kiss at the top of your head, unconsciously breathing in your scent, just as you did.

“Just remember I will always be here for you whenever you need me.” You stepped back and nodded, already missing his heat. You held his hand and gave it a squeeze, letting it go seconds after to enter your room, closing the door behind you. 

Loki leaned against his door, smiling contently, knowing you finally let your walls down and were really trying to move on.

You were laying in your bed, facing the ceiling, when a thought crossed your mind. Where had Loki been all your life, and how could you live without him now?

You sighed and muttered a low “fuck”, realizing what all this could mean.

“Fuck” Loki whispered, still smelling you on his clothes.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki was sitting in the middle of the couch, watching every move you made around the living room, nervously. He knew agreeing to watch The Notebook with you was the worst idea ever, but something deep inside him made him say yes. Maybe it was the way you said it, with that particular glint in your eyes he knew too well already or maybe it was his pathetic excuse that you couldn’t watch such a sappy movie alone in your state of mind. Loki was not a fool, but he tried so hard to not admit the truth to himself, which was that he trusted you completely, as much as you trusted him. He knew it was his time to be vulnerable around you, letting you see his real self, open up to you. You took a huge risk letting him see yourself; the vampire freak, the cold one night stand and the heartbroken woman. You barely knew things about his life or his tastes. What you knew, you learned it by yourself, by being an excellent observer. You knew Loki adored black coffee with no sugar in the mornings, he loved Queen with all his bisexual ass, a fact you really had to learn on your fucking own since he used to play it every damn morning. He was always reading, mostly Shakespeare, he was a book editor and worked from home, that’s why no one could never enter his room without his permission.

“Are you gonna take the whole couch or what?” You said while approaching him, the movie started playing in the TV. He moved slowly, his eyes never meeting yours, so you could sit in one extreme and him, on the other, placing the bowl of popcorn in the middle.

As the movie progressed, you realized that Loki was too focused on something else, and since you were no witch, you decided to ask him after 15 minutes more passed.

“What are you thinking about? You don’t like it?” Maybe that was the reason he looked so tense, you forced him to watch it after he told you he’d never seen it before.

“Ryan Gosling is a masterpiece in this movie.” He said after a few minutes in silence, staring at the screen.

“Yeah, he portrays Noah amazingly.” You added, totally thinking he meant his acting.

“Wasn’t talking about that, but go off sis.” You stared at him amused and chuckled, he looked at you and smirked.

You were silent again, immersed in the movie, when you heard Loki whispering something under his breath. You looked at him, thinking that maybe he was complaining about the sappiness of the pier scene, but your eyes widened when you realized he knew the lines, by heart.

“ _I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year…it wasn’t over, it still isn’t over!_ ” You burst out laughing, making Loki’s head snap to look at you, fear crossing his eyes.

“I can explain.” He blurted out. You couldn’t stop laughing, the fact that he lied to you telling you he didn’t know the movie when he really knew it, probably by heart. It was a two hour long movie, with a lot of dialogues and long lines, so he must have seen it A LOT to know each word so perfectly.

“I can’t believe you made a fool of me, making me think you are a tough guy with no feelings apart from hatred towards sappy shit. And here you are, quoting Noah Calhoun.” You said pointing at the movie, completely missing the sex scene.

“Look, sorry I lied, but this was exactly why I didn’t want to tell you about it.” Loki stood up but before he could move to leave, you grabbed his hand to stop him. You looked at him and sweetly smiled, understanding him completely.

“Hey, I get it, I do that too. Sorry.” He nodded and sat next to you.

“This movie means a lot to me, it was my mother’s favorite one. We used to watch it all the time.” You could feel his sadness through his trembling voice and it immediately made you feel like an asshole. You reached for his hand and held it in yours, squeezing it, trying to give him comfort.

“She was the one who taught me all I know about literature, art, music and cinema. She was such an angel. I never deserved her.” Loki fought the tears that were threatening to fall, but when he looked into your eyes, he lost it. You were shedding silent tears, feeling the pain of Loki’s words towards his mother.

“You did deserve her Loki, you are…I don’t even know where to start. You are by far, the best thing that’s happened to me this year and I’m so glad I moved in. You are extraordinary.” You hugged him tightly to your chest, his head resting on your shoulder, his breath fanning your neck, sending you shivers down your spine.

You pulled away after a few minutes, holding Loki’s face with your hand so he looked at you.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you’re my best friend, I would never, ever judge you.” You caressed his jaw with your fingertips and leaned in to plant a kiss on his forehead. Loki stared at you in awe, not sure how to feel about the fact that it was the first time someone showed him this kind of affection, besides his mother, Frigga.

“You are my best friend too, Y/n. I hope you know that.” You nodded, not wanting to say something stupid and ruin the moment.

-

“Are you sure I can go?” You stuck your head out of the bathroom to ask Loki, who was probably getting dressed to meet his friends.

“Yes, they were the ones who suggested me to invite you actually.”

“So hurry the fuck up.” He added, making you roll your eyes and close the door again to get ready. As you blow dried your hair, you thought about the afternoon you spent with Loki, which was supposed to be a fun sappy afternoon watching The Notebook, but it turned out to be a huge mess. You were happy he finally opened up and showed himself, but you were also worried for all his pent up emotions.

“Loki, do I really have to dress up?” You shouted through the closed door, waiting for him to answer. He opened his door and revealed himself, the sight in front of you made you gasp. He was wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and a black tie. He looked so ethereal and gorgeous with his raven locks slightly slicked back, with some loose strands that framed his sharp pale face.

“You look…”

“Spectacular? Dazzling? Breathtaking? Beautiful?” You rolled your eyes and gave him a bored look.

“…like a witch.” He smirked and nodded ironically, knowing you were going to say something completely different.

“We gotta leave in half an hour, so you better be ready, Y/n.”  

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” You turned around and went to your room to get dressed. You chose a dark green silk-satin wrap gown with a plunging V neckline, spaghetti straps that cross at the low back and a one side slit. You wore golden accessories and a fake black fur coat, and since the dress was floor length, you decided to wear your black combat boots.

You wanted to spend Christmas at home with your parents, but since you were going to start working in a couple of days at the bookshop, it wasn’t worth it to go, plus, you were actually pretty excited to meet Loki’s friends. He invited you because Shay and Bucky really insisted him, since he never stopped talking about you.

You were finishing your makeup when Loki barged in the room, startling you, almost making you drop the lipstick.

“We gotta…go” He was staring at you wide eyed, his mouth slightly opened and his eyes scanning your outfit. Loki couldn’t keep his eyes off you until you shifted awkwardly in the spot and cleared your throat.

“Is it too much? I can change fast.” You said while taking a look at yourself in the mirror. You raised your head to look at him, his eyes already on yours.

“No, you look…ravishing is not even an accurate word.” You shyly smiled at him, your face turning a crimson red. You were used to being complimented, but when it was Loki, yu always felt taken aback with his sincerity.

“I’m just trying to look as good as you.” You rapidly answered, trying to keep it friendly, since that’s all there was.

“You’ve succeeded, then. Should we go?”

 


	10. Chapter 10

You were glad you chose the green dress because it was a “kind of” formal dinner. Shay and Bucky had an amazing apartment, huge but cozy, it really felt like home. It smelled like cinnamon and wood, the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace echoed all around the living room. The walls were full of amazing art and photos of them, looking so in love you felt a pang of jealousy. They both looked like they were cut from marble, two gods amongst humans. Bucky was breathtakingly beautiful, but nothing compared to Shay. She was wearing a velvet royal blue A-line gown, with a square neckline and long sleeves. It had a one side slit that reached almost to the hip, showing her long bronzed legs. She was wearing her long dark hair in a high ponytail and big golden earrings. Bucky was wearing a simple black suit, with a white shirt and a blue bow tie, matching his girlfriend’s dress.

“So, what’s your opinion on Pluto, Y/n?” You were chatting lively after dinner, having a glass of the best red wine you’ve ever tried. As soon as Shay asked the question, the mood on the room changed, Loki gasping and Bucky sighing. You looked at her and smiled, preparing your answer in your mind.

“Well, I’m tired of people saying that it’s not a goddamned planet. He deserves to be one as much as the rest. I really have so much pent up anger towards NASA, I might go crazy one day and sue their insensitive ass.” Everyone was staring at you wide eyed, and you frowned, thinking that maybe you said something wrong. Shay looked at Loki and shot him a huge grin.

“I love her already. If you hurt her in any way. I’ll kick your ass into inexistence.” You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding and smiled. Her comment bringing you a strange joy and serenity.

“She is really passionate about planets and the Universe, but Pluto is her weak spot.” You all laughed at Bucky’s words and went back to your chattering. You asked them how they met, and apparently Shay was a very famous artist and Bucky owned an Art Gallery, so it was written in the stars. She exhibited her works in his gallery and he fell in love with her immediately. They’ve been together for almost five years and three living together.

“And how did you guys meet?” You asked pointing at the couple and Loki. Bucky opened his mouth to answer but Loki cut him off.

“I went to one of their exhibitions and I just fell in love with them.” They shared a weird look and the room fell silent, an awkward atmosphere breaking the comfort you were feeling. You shifted nervously on your seat, not knowing what was going on, you were looking at them like a lost puppy. Shay cleared her throat and clasped her hands together, smiling widely.

“Let’s get with the juicy questions while the boys go to open the Bourbon.” As on cue, the two men stood up and left the room, talking heatedly in whispers.

“What do you wanna know?” You knew she wanted to ask something for a while now, seeing it in the glint of her eyes. She smirked at you and you already knew the question.

“So, you and Loki…?” She said while gesturing with her fingers the rest of the question. You bursted out laughing and nodded with your head.

“It happened shortly after I arrived, but we were both drunk and we hated each other. It was actually a one time thing.” You sipped what was left in your glass of wine. “Now he is my best friend.”

You smiled, not sure why or to who. Shay was smiling as well, thinking to herself that there was no one in the world who would believe how naive and oblivious you and Loki were. Best friends don’t looked at each other like that.

“Bucky, spit it out before it eats you alive.” Loki told his friend, already assuming what his question was going to be.

“You didn’t tell her?” He asked, and Loki shook his head, looking at the living room.

“I don’t want her to be involved in all that, and less when there is nothing between us. You know how people are.” He added sadly, because it was being really hard to lie to you about his life.

“But something happened, right?” Bucky knew his friend way too well, and your body language betrayed the two of you. You two shared too many touches, glances and longing looks to be just friends, but none of you saw that.

Loki sighed and nodded, taking from the kitchen cabinet four glasses.

“It was a one time thing, though. So don’t read much into it. We were also pretty drunk and we hated each other, so it meant nothing.” Bucky hummed in response, shaking his head in disbelief when Loki turned around and went to the living room.

-

As you stumbled into your apartment, giggling and clinging at Loki’s arm, you remembered the present you had bought for him. You ran to your room, leaving a confused Loki on the entrance of the apartment. You took the small envelope from your nightstand and ran out of the room, bumping into Loki’s chest and almost falling, but he caught you in his arms before you did. You looked up and found two green eyes already looking at you. You gasped at the proximity, his breath fanning your skin. You scanned his face, his expression was serene and there was something in his eyes you just couldn’t catch, once your eyes stopped on his mouth, you licked your lips unconsciously. Something in Loki told him to just let go and so he did, starting to lean in to kiss you, but you cleared your throat and pulled away right when his lips were about to touch yours.

“Merry Christmas.” You said while handing Loki the envelope, almost shoving it in his chest anxiously.

“What is this?” He frowned, already forgetting what just happened and blaming, once again, the alcohol.

“Well, it’s your present, silly.” You said giggling, waiting impatiently for him to open it.

“You didn’t have to b-” His mouth opened in awe when he saw what was inside. You found two tickets to a Queen tribute concert in a few days, so it was the perfect present. Before you could say or do something, two arms hugged you tightly and lifted you off the ground. You hugged him back by the neck and wrapped your legs around his waist, laughing like two idiots.

“Thank you so much, Y/n.” He said while putting you back on your feet.

“It’s nothing, I just saw it and thought of you. I’m sure you will love it.”

“What you mean I will love it? You are not coming?” His enthusiasm dropped, seeing your frown.

“I… I thought you could go with someone else?” You told him, confused with his reaction. You were always together, so it was normal to assume he might be tired of spending so much time with you.

“There’s no one else I want to go with, Y/n. I want you there with me.” He said in the most serious tone he’d ever used with you. You nodded and mumbled an okay.

“I have something for you , too. Wait in your room while I look for it.” You looked down at yourself and realized you were still wearing the gown, so you went to your room to change and remove your makeup. You sat at the edge of the bed wrapped around your blanket, waiting for Loki to come back to you, who came a few minutes later. He was wearing his pajama pants and his sweatshirt, in his hands there was a book sized package, wrapped in a black paper with small astrological patterns. He sat next to you and handed you the present, with a wide smile and an excited glint in his eyes.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” He added jokingly and you elbowed him at the nickname. You ripped open the paper and gasped, the air suddenly too thick to breath. In your hands, there was a copy of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the first edition published in 1897 in Westminster by Archibald Constable and Company. You knew this because it was a dream for every collector of books, but the price was too high. You stared at the black leather cover for at least five minutes, and once you recovered from the shock, you started to cry.

“I can’t accept it.” You said, knowing your tears were a mix of joy and sadness because you couldn’t keep the book.

“Why not?” His voice was soft and soothing. You finally looked at him and saw his face lit up, a sweet smile on his lips and that odd glint in his eyes you couldn’t catch.

“Loki, I know how much this book costs. It’s a first edition for fucks sake.” You were almost angry at him for spending so much fucking money on you.

“Y/n, money is not important for me. I have plenty of it and sharing it with the people I care about makes me happy, so please, keep it.” You nodded, the words stuck in your throat. This book was worth 70.000$ or more, you wondered how a book editor could make so much money. Loki looked around your room, and saw the book you had on your nightstand.

“You like this?” He asked when he grabbed the book, showing it to you so you could see what he was talking about. You nodded enthusiastically.

“He’s my favorite writer. It’s a pity I don’t know who he is, but ugh. His romances are the best I’ve ever read. He calls himself God Of Mischief and lemme tell you, it sounds so hot.” You yawned, your sleepy body screaming at you to close your eyes and rest.

“I should let you sleep. We will talk tomorrow.” He stood up and kissed you on your temple, his lips pressed to your skin longer than normal. You nodded in agreement and let him go, after giving him a bone crushing hug.

Loki pressed his forehead on your closed door, sighing longingly.

“Good night, love.”


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

After what happened at Christmas Eve with Loki, you tried to avoid thinking about it, thinking  that maybe it was the alcohol making you paranoid, because between you and him, there was nothing.

Loki knew avoiding you was wrong, he needed to clear his mind and focus on his work, but everytime he tried to think about something else, you popped into his mind. He was at the kitchen having his third coffee, since he couldn’t sleep last night, the nightmares waking him and haunting him. He heard steps coming from your room and he knew it was too suspicious to leave the kitchen now, since you knew he was there, so he just breathed a couple of times trying to gather his thoughts and get back to the forgotten book on the counter.

You entered the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling your sleepy senses. You closed your eyes for a second and smiled, totally ignoring the fact that Loki was staring at you wide eyed, his heart pounding loudly on his chest at the sight of you. You were wearing a big long shirt, your hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and last night’s makeup smudged under your eyes. You thought when you looked at yourself in the mirror that you looked gross, but he thought he’d never seen you more beautiful. Loki shook his head at his thoughts and cleared his throat, focusing back on his book right on time, before you opened your eyes.

“Good morning, _babe_.” You smiled at him and he lifted his head from the book he seemed too immersed in. His green eyes looked at your hazel ones, that odd glint in his eyes again.

“Hey. I made coffee for you.” You grinned and reached for your cup and poured the dark elixir of gods into it.

“By the way, don’t call me _babe_ , please.” He said between laughs and you followed him. You sat in silence next to him for about five minutes, thinking about what you could say, but just when you were about to open your mouth, a message popped in your phone.

 

**_Shay_ ** _: Bitch, get ready. I will pick you up in an hour, we are going shopping._

 

You smiled at your phone and Loki frowned, not even trying to hide the pang of jealousy he felt. You looked at him, still smiling but it fell as soon as you saw his expression.

 

“Shay just texted me, we are going shopping in an hour. Do you need anything for the party?” As soon as he heard your friend’s name, he felt like he could breathe again and he smiled.

 

“I really need a bow tie for my suit, so if you could please bring me one?” You nodded, taking a sip of your coffee, closing your eyes at the sensation of warmth you thought the hot liquid was giving you. You finished your drink, you went to get ready as fast as you could and stepped out of your room, expecting Loki to be in the kitchen, but he was already blasting his music. You knocked on his door, not knowing why. Subconsciously, you wanted him to see your outfit, remembering the face he made when he first saw you in your leather jacket and combat boots. He opened the door and stepped outside, his body not letting you see his room. He looked at you from head to toes, and frowned when he reached your face, wondering what you wanted.

“I’m leaving now, I’ll be back after work, so maybe we could watch a movie or something?” You shrugged, the confidence you felt, leaving you. He nodded and rubbed the back of his head nervously.

“I’m…” He cleared his throat. “I mean, yeah. Sounds great.” You smiled widely, suddenly excited for tonight.

“So, uhm, I gotta go.” You turned around frowning and shaking your head at yourself for sounding so stupid

-

“I can’t afford that gown and I also think is too much.” You stated while reading the menu on the greek restaurant. You heard Shay huff and you looked up.

“Listen, I am ridiculously rich, so consider it my late Christmas present.” She left no room to argue, looking back at her menu. You knew the dress was a work of the gods as soon as you saw it, even the dress had a goddess’ name. The gown was made of black tulle with a black silk lining, hand-embroidered in gold threadwork, creating constellations on the skirt and a gold bullion bodice. Shay convinced you to try it even though it was see-through, with a very long v neckline and expensive as fuck, and of course you fell in love with it as soon as you saw yourself in it.

“You know that dress was made for you. So please, consider it.” You thought that maybe when you started eating, she would forget about the dress, but she was stubborn. She tried a dress from the same designers that was amazingly gorgeous but she said it looked too similar to yours.

“I will let you buy me that expensive as fuck dress if you buy the one you tried, no excuses.” She swallowed her food and sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Deal. But I hope you know that right now, I love this tzatziki more than I love you.” You laughed at her words and shook your head. You were so glad you met Shay and Bucky, you hit it off immediately with them, specially with her. Since Val left to live with her girlfriend abroad, you felt kind of lonely, missing a close friendship with a woman. Loki was an amazing friend, but sometimes you needed this kind of dates with friends.

“Bitch, I can’t wait to see Loki’s face when he sees you in this fucking gown.” You looked at her, fear on your eyes, and asked her what she meant with that. Loki and you were just friends, nothing else. Just friends.

“Are you still lying to yourself, making you think you are just friends?”

“Shay, I really don’t know what you mean. I really believe we are just friends. I recently had a bad experience and-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what happened with that asshole. But that doesn’t answer my question. What are you so afraid of?” You anxiously looked around the coffee shop, trying to avoid eye contact. After lunch, you went to buy the dresses and you decided it was a good idea to have a coffee before your shift at the bookshop. You inhaled and sighed heavily, looking at her brown eyes.

“I-I don’t know, Shay. I’m just terrified.” You stuttered, feeling the tears in the corner of your eyes. You closed your eyes and gulped, trying to swallow your unknown feelings, trying to avoid any kind of enlightenment towards your friendship with Loki. You needed him, you couldn’t afford to lose him as well.  

“Just don’t force yourself to ignore what’s in front of you, out of fear.” You nodded and held her hand in yours.

“Thank you, for this and for your friendship. I know it’s been less than a week, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.” She squeezed your hand and smiled at you, agreeing with you . You had the feeling that she would play an important role in your life as soon as you met her and what you did today, was just the confirmation of it.

You were walking to your work, speaking lively with her about your plans for the party they were throwing in New Year’s Eve. You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the poster on the bookshop’s door. You jumped excited and Shay was staring at you in awe.

“Oh my god, my favorite writer is doing a book sign next week!!” You looked closely at the information and remembered that that exact day, it was your day off, so you could go with someone.

“You like the God of Mischief?” Shay asked amused, the tone of her voice indicating she knew something you didn’t, but right now you were so happy you could combust.

“I adore him! He is my favorite writer. Would you come with me? Please?” You asked her with pleading eyes and she couldn’t say no. This is going to be fun, Shay thought to herself.

 

“I’ll take the bags to my house, since we’ll be getting ready together, so don’t worry about them. Have a good afternoon, hoe.” You blowed Shay a kiss and watched her as she left, your mind suddenly wandered, thinking about the conversation you had about Loki and you.

You were piling the new arrivals on the floor and started placing the books on the shelves, when an idea popped. You needed to have a few drinks and meet someone new, you hadn’t had sex since Eric, so maybe that’s what you needed to clear your mind. It was impossible you liked Loki, even more impossible him liking you. Right?

Once your shift was over, you headed straight to The Black Moon, totally forgetting about the movie night with Loki. You had only one thing in mind, get wasted and fuck someone new tonight. That’s all you wanted and needed. Five hours later, you were stumbling in your apartment with a guy named Sam next to you, totally oblivious to the fact that Loki was still awake, sick worried because he thought something happened to you, since you weren’t picking up your phone or answering his text messages.

You spent almost all the night awake with Sam, but after you were done, he left. The sunlight was strong, so you assumed it was pretty late. You stood up and went straight to the bathroom, taking a hot shower and your body craving for coffee. You frowned when you walked towards the kitchen, Loki was sitting in his usual spot with his book, his headphones plugged in and a cup of coffee on his hand, no coffee for you.

“Hey there.” You said in a loud tone trying to get him to hear you. He looked up from his book and glared at you, his stone cold attitude you haven’t seen in months, back. He unplugged one earphone and spoke in a harsh tone.

“Would you look at that? You are alive.” He spat. If looks could kill, you would be dead right now.

“What’s wrong?” You frowned confused, not sure what was going on.

“Well, what should I begin with? Uhm maybe the fact that you stood me up last night and never said anything? Or maybe the fact that you brought someone here and were so fucking loud I couldn’t sleep? Or maybe you not fucking telling me you were out, so I didn’t have to be worried the whole fucking night because you didn’t answer your phone?” He stood up and stared at you coldly.

“I hope I was clear enough, Y/n.” He was about to leave when you reached for his hand and stopped him. You knew that what you did was fucked up, and if you were being honest with yourself, it didn’t help you clear your mind at all.

“I’m so sorry, Loki. I had a hard day at work and I totally forgot. I’m so sorry.” You said with pleading eyes. He hesitated, but finally he nodded.

“It’s okay, next time, please inform me or someone else. I can’t add my worry for you to my already long ass list of stressful stuff.” He squeezed your hand and pulled you to him, embracing you in his arms. You breathed in his cinnamon and lavender scent and a shiver ran down your spine, making you pull off abruptly.

“I need to get back to work. I have a lot of reading to do and all that stuff book editors do.” He smiled at you sweetly, but it never reached his eyes.

“Yeah, I have to die peacefully in my bed to pass this hangover.” You said to him, his back already facing you.

“What the fuck is going on, Y/n?” You asked yourself when you felt your heart pounding loudly on your chest, the scent of Loki still embracing your senses.


	12. Chapter 12

You expected the bar to be less packed but apparently people really loved Queen in this city. You were in front of Loki, your back pressed to his chest, everyone around you pushing and elbowing to get closer to the stage. As Bohemian Rhapsody came to an end, the aftermaths of the loud chorus and the cigarettes you smoke making your voice raspy and your throat hurt. We Will Rock You started to play right away, making you spin around and stare at Loki who was already looking at you with a knowing look.

”Not to be rude, but I kind of hate this song because of you.” Loki made a fake hurt face, pressing his hand to his chest and you smiled at him. 

“How can you hate this song? It’s a fucking BOP, Y/n.” He said as he leaned in, his lips brushing lightly on your ear. A shiver ran down your spine but you ignored it, deciding it was because of the music.

You nodded and smirked at him. “It is, but not at 8am with a terrible hangover.” 

You turned back around to face the stage and screamed the lyrics passionately, Loki looking down at you in awe, his heart swelling. You seemed to be finally okay after all you had to go through due to that asshole, and he was so happy he got to see you bloom. The music disappeared for him, his focus just on you and your voice. You clutched your hand on your chest, right above your heart, when you heard the first piano notes of Somebody To Love. When the first chorus was over, you had tears in your eyes already, your heart racing and your voice cracked, your emotions all over the place. You suddenly felt a hand brushing your shoulder, fingertips slowly moved down your arm, caressing each centimeter of skin until they reached your hand and without much further ado, you held his hand in yours. 

Loki’s eyes widened when he felt you held his hand, your thumb stroking his knuckles. When the last part of the song played, he squeezed your hand, trying to make you notice what he was feeling, but you totally missed it, thinking he saw you cry and he was just giving you comfort. 

You were shivering on the way back to Loki’s bike, your hands still intertwined and you really tried your best to think it was just platonic, two friends holding each others hands after a magical night at a concert. Nothing romantic. 

“Are you cold?” Loki’s voice startled you from your thoughts, suddenly his hand burning yours, so you let go and took a few steps away from him.

“Yeah, let’s just get home,have some beers and watch Netflix.” He nodded and opened the seat of his bike, taking out his leather jacket and a huge green scarf, handing the latter item to you. He was wearing a thick sweater, so maybe that’s why he didn’t need the scarf. You were wearing a red floral dress, with your black combat boots and a thin green bomber jacket, so of course you were freezing. You hopped on the bike, instantly wrapping your arms around Loki’s waist, placing your cheek on his back, breathing in his scent.

\- 

All lights were off, a few empty bottles of beer scattered on the small table in front of the couch, your legs propped up in Loki’s lap and his on the table. The only light illuminating the room and your faces was the tv screen, the second episode of The Haunting of Hill House loudly playing.

“This show is amazing. I can’t believe I didn’t know Shirley Jackson until now.” Loki stated, still looking at the screen focused on finding the hidden ghosts in the background.

“I discovered her when I read her book We Have Always Lived In The Castle. It’s ugh, amazing.” 

It was almost 2am when you turned off the tv, both of you dragging your tired bodies to your respective bedrooms. You threw yourself to the bed, your face propped on the pillow and you immediately fell asleep.

Loki couldn’t sleep, the images of the show running wild on his mind. He tried his best to think about something else, about you, about the concert, but nothing seemed to turn off the scary images. He finally fell asleep an hour later, his last thing on his conscious mind was your smiling face. 

 

_ “Y/n? What are you doing here? He heard himself saying in a soft voice, afraid you could vanish at any moment. You were laying next to him, facing the white walls of his room. He propped up on his elbow, trying to get a better look at you, but he couldn’t see your face. _

_ “Y/n? What’s wrong?” He shook your shoulder lightly, trying to get your attention, but you didn’t answer at all, not even a flinch. His heart was racing, thinking that maybe something wrong happened to you and you couldn’t speak or move. He turned on the light and moved your body, finally seeing your face. _

_ “Y/N!! Y/N!!” He shouted while crying, seeing your limp body. Your beautiful face was grey with cracks, your mouth black due to the decay of your flesh, your eyes white, lifeless. _

_ “Y/N NO!” He screamed once more, his body falling on top of yours. _

 

You stormed in Loki’s room, hearing his loud cries calling out your name. His body was stiff, gripping the duvet so strongly his knuckles were white, a thin layer of sweat running down his forehead. His face was the pure and raw expression of fear, his eyes shut harshly and his mouth slightly opened, trying to breathe. His jaw was clenched and his hair sticking to his face due to the sweat. You ran to his side, and started shaking him trying to wake him up.

“Loki, wake up. It’s just a nightmare.” You could hear the pain in your own voice, your heart aching for him.

“Loki, please!!” You shouted after a few more tries, shaking him strongly. He opened his eyes and sat up on the bed, scanning your face.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay now.” You caressed his face, waiting for him to react. He pushed your body to his and hugged you, resting his head on your shoulder, hiding his face in your neck. You ran both of your hands up and down his back, trying to soothe his sobs.

“Shh, you are okay now. It was just a nightmare.” His grip on you loosened, but that was all he did. You started rocking your bodies like he once did with you, your hand finding his head and stroking a few strands of black hair.

After what felt like hours, you asked him if he needed or wanted to talk about it, but he shook his head. He let you go and sat against his headboard, inhaling and exhaling trying to steady his breathing. 

“I’m not watching that tv show anymore.” Loki said a small smile forming on his lips. You laughed and shook your head, not really understanding why he kept watching scary shit if he didn’t like it. 

“Hey, I just remembered. We should check flights to Norway soon, the wedding is in a couple of months right??” Loki nodded enthusiastically and he felt his heart swell when you smiled at him like that. He never saw you smiling like that to anybody and it made him feel privileged, to have someone that cared for him as much as you did and him being able to care for you back.

“Yep. We really need to call Thor and Jane, it’s been a while since we last spoke with them.”

“We can worry about that tomorrow, now you have to go back to sleep.” His eyes scanned your face once again, and you smiled at him, waiting for him to speak out his mind.

“Would you mind sleeping with me tonight? Please?” Your eyes widened at his request, but before you could think about it, your mouth was replying.

“I’ll stay.”


	13. Chapter 13

When someone sits by the sea and stares at the waves crashing against the shore, the sea breeze stroking their hair and the birds flying on the horizon, they always get the feeling that that’s how it’s supposed to be. It just feels natural.

That’s how you felt when you woke up embraced in Loki’s arms, your legs tangled beneath the duvet, the sun rays entering through the windows, lighting up the white room. This time, you weren’t on a rush to move, not scared to what could happen next or what the other person could do, because it was Loki. You snuggled closer to his body, your ear pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. You looked up and moved the hand you had pressed on Loki’s chest to his face, hesitating between grazing your fingers on his cheek or not. You muttered a low fuck it and moved a strand of hair out of his face, your fingertips making contact with his cold skin. You placed your hand back on his chest, your mind analyzing the situation you put yourself through. You slept with your best friend, your legs were tangled and everytime you looked at him your heart skipped a beat. The logical part of your brain was screaming at you to bolt out of the bed and go to your room, but your heart was softly whispering at you, telling you that there in Loki’s arms, it’s where you were supposed to be. 

 

Loki woke up not long after you fell asleep again, a small smile forming on his lips. Last night was by far, one of the best nights of his life even though he had to go through that horrible nightmare. He stared at you for a long time, taking in your sleeping form. You were peacefully asleep, your hair covering half of your face and he really felt the urge to set aside the locks that covered your angelical features. The sunlight was giving you a glow he’d never seen in anyone before, every flaw on your skin, every wrinkle and every frown disappeared, making you look like you were made of porcelain. He really wanted to touch you, to feel his lips against your skin again, but he knew that if he touched you, maybe this dream would be over and you would vanish from his arms. 

 

_ “How do I look?” You asked Loki as you stepped out of the bathroom, fixing your dress. Loki stared at you in awe, not sure how to feel. You were wearing a black dress with a deep v neckline, very similar to the one Morticia Addams always wore. You paled your face with makeup and marked your dark circles under your eyes and your cheekbones. You also drew a few veins on your jawline and forehead, your beautiful pouty lips covered in what seemed to be fake blood. He frowned because even though you really looked scary and dead, he still found you gorgeous. _

_ “You are going to be the death of me.” He answered, his eyes still roaming your costume. You frowned and stared at him, blinking a few times trying to regain your cool. _

_ “Yeah funny, if I could only be a vampire.” Loki finally looked at you and grinned, even though he was mentally slapping himself for letting that comment out, but thankfully you thought it was just a bad pun.  _

_ “Do I look as cool and dead as you?” He asked looking down at his Dracula costume. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing one of his black suits with a long ass black and red velvet cape.  _

_ “I love your makeup, it’s so accurate it even looks real.” You laughed at him, knowing he didn’t do his makeup at all. _

_ “You know damn well this is not makeup. This is a work of art provided by a week without sleep and stress.” He said gesturing at his pale and tired face. _

_ “Are you sure you wanna come? It’s fine if you stay.” You said, the concern written all over your eyes.  _

_ “Are you insane? How could I miss your favorite night of all year?”  _

 

Loki smiled at the memory of the Halloween night you spent together. He took his phone from the nightstand and opened his gallery, looking for the photo he had of you two dressed up as vampires. 

 

_ “Come on, don’t be such a bummer. It’s just a photo, Loki!” You said in your drunk high pitched voice. After taking a few selfies at the crowded bar, the photographer came to where you were and asked you if you wanted a couple pic. You nodded enthusiastically but Loki refused, scared of what you would request to be your “couple” photo. You tugged at his arm a couple of times and he sighed defeated, nodding at you. _

_ “Yay! Okay so, just passionately grab me and bite my neck.” You said smiling widely and Loki swore he felt his blood boil and freeze at the same time. You can do this, he told himself. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, your hands flying instantly to embrace his neck. He lowered his head and gave your neck a slow lick, stopping right behind the soft spot in your ear. He then trailed down your neck, giving your skin a few kisses and stopped to open his mouth and leave a wet kiss on the upper part of your neck. As soon as the flash vanished, you ran to the bathroom, the heat of the moment overwhelming your drunk self. _

He wanted to kiss you like he did that night, to hold you in his arms forever but he knew you just saw him as a friend, you told him millions of times.

Your eyes flickered open, a content sigh escaping your lips not noticing Loki’s gaze fixed on you. 

“Good morning, sleepy head.” He said, kissing your temple.

“Hey, how did you sleep? Any nightmares?” You separated from him and propped on your elbow, missing his body against your immediately. He shook his head and smiled.

“I had you to look after me. Thank you for staying, I know it was a fucked up thing to ask. I’m sorry.” He bowed his head sadly, his mood changing completely.

“Hey, hey.” You sat down and grabbed his face with your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Don’t be sorry, you didn’t force me. I did it because I l-” You stopped dead in your tracks when you realized what was about to leave your mouth. 

“I did it because I care about you and you are my best friend. You’ve always been next to me to wipe my stupid tears when Eric happened. This is nothing compared to what you did for me.” There it was again, the confirmation that Loki needed to know it was just a one sided feeling.

-

You were sipping at your coffee, thinking about the words that almost slipped. You loved Loki, and that terrified you. You didn’t even realize when or how, but it happened and you were not ready for another heartbreak. Loki came back from the bathroom and sat down in front of you, his mug on his hand.

“There’s a fair in the pier. Would you like to go later? I thought, since it’s your day off, it would be a good plan.” You looked at him in awe, not sure what his question meant.

“Are you asking me out, Loki?” You smirked at him, your inner self shouting and jumping at the idea of going on a date with him.

“Yes, of course. We always do that Y/n.” He let out a nervous laugh that you didn’t catch, since you were too nervous to think about anything else.

“But as a date?” You asked him frowning, already knowing the answer.

“No no no, I wouldn’t do that. Not with you. I mean, we are friends and the thought of you and me it’s just…” He cut himself off when he started talking more than he should. 

“Yeah, of course.” You waved with your hand laughing. Because the thought of you two for him was something stupid.


	14. Chapter 14

You were a mess for the rest of the day, nothing seemed to be going as planned. Food? Burnt. Beers? Broken on the kitchen floor cause your hands were like butter. Speaking to Loki? No comments on that. You literally had to spend the rest of the day in your room trying to calm down your nerves.

You sighed and moved from your bed to sit in front of your closet, not knowing what to wear, even though you and Loki already established that it was a friendship date and nothing else. After rummaging through your drawers and finding nothing, you started to panic and went back to sit on your bed to cry, staring blankly at the mess you’ve made.

_**Y/n** : I don’t know what to wear. Can we stay in and go any other day?_

Loki’s eyes widened in amusement when he saw your text, thinking that you were joking. He thought about what he could answer for a few seconds and then had a perfect idea to mess with you.

_**Loki** : You wanna borrow something from my closet? A hoodie or whatever you like?_

As soon as you received his text, you stormed out of your room and ran to his, barging inside without even knocking. You scanned the empty room out of curiosity and realized it looked nothing like you could have imagined. It was so cozy and warm and it smelled like Loki. The walls were white and the furniture was white oak, reflecting Loki’s softness in every corner of the room. One side of the bed was against a wall and the headboard was under a large window with white curtains. On the other side of the room, there was a large white desk with a black typewriter with some written words on a paper, a pile of papers next to it and his laptop. Next to the desk there was a huge pile of books and on top of the desk there were three shelves full of books and journals. On the inner window ledge, there was a little cacti, more journals and a mug filled with writing utensils. It really felt like you were in a writer’s room, which actually he was, but just editing for others. You approached his closet and glanced at the paper on the typewriter, your eyes widening when you read what was written.

_~~For you?~~ _

_Oh, so tender,  
_

_Oh, so sweet._

_I can still feel your soft fingers_

_Ghosting on my skin._

_It felt too good,_

_but maybe we were never meant to be._

At that exact moment, you felt your heart break, the possibility of him being in love with someone else bringing you back to reality. You misread all his signs, thinking that maybe it was something more, but it was what it was. You opened the closet doors and sighed, not knowing what you could get.

“Can I help you?” Loki asked from the door, startling you and making you squeal. You were so immersed in your own thoughts you didn’t hear him approaching the bedroom.

“For fucks sake Loki, are you trying to kill me?” You looked back at the closet and shrugged, humming an affirmative answer.

“Are you wearing that?” You scanned his outfit in awe. He was wearing black ripped jeans, with a floral vintage shirt and top white converse. He looked down at his outfit and nodded, confused at your question.

“Cute.” You muttered under your breath, thinking he didn’t hear you. Loki was blushing behind you, not knowing how to act around you after last night. He looked around his room nervously and fixed his eyes in his typewriter, realizing he left the poem he wrote for you in it. The idea of you reading it send a shiver down his spine, the fear of you realizing his feelings paralyzing his brain. He heard something but he was still staring at his desk, his brain trying to function.

You called Loki’s name for the third time, and after getting no response, you snapped your fingers in front of his face, startling him.

“What? Sorry I zoned out.” He said shaking his head, looking a bit disappointed. You frowned and raised your hand, showing him the blouse you took.

“Can I take this?” Loki nodded and you thanked him in a small voice, leaving to your room to get dressed.

You styled the cream silk ruffle poet blouse with high waisted black pants and your black oxford shoes. You really weren’t in the mood for makeup so you just applied some concealer in your spots and mascara. You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed, not really wanting to go after reading that stupid poem.

You left your room and stood on the hallway waiting for Loki to appear. He did after a few minutes, looking a bit uneasy but you decided to ignore it and make your way to the entrance, taking your jacket and the house keys. Loki sighed and tried to catch his breath after seeing you wearing his blouse, a deep feeling tugging at his heart. He grabbed the keys and his leather jacket and closed the door, leaving behind all his doubts and fears. Today was the day. He wanted to tell you how he felt or at least try to, so while driving his mind was working on a speech for you.

The fair was packed, everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives and you just couldn’t help to think that all you wanted to do was hold Loki’s hand in yours, to walk next to him like all the couples did, to share a cotton candy or for him to win you a giant stuffed bear. Loki was still silent, walking besides you, thinking about all the things he wanted and needed to get off his chest.

“Y/n, I wa-”

“OH MY GOD let’s go to the tunnel of terror, pleeeease!” You cut him off without realizing and tugged at his arm, sliding your hand down and grabbing his hand, interlacing your fingers. You stood on the queue excited rambling about childhood stuff, oblivious to the fact that you missed the opportunity to hear Loki’s feelings. When you felt his thumb stroking your knuckles you remembered you were still holding hands, but instead of backing away you squeezed his hand gently.

**-**

“I can’t believe I agreed to do this.” Loki said while you were crossing one of the dark rooms, his anxiety almost palpable. You were about to pass a big arch when someone shouted, scaring the shit out of Loki. He stumbled backwards and hit a wall, pulling you towards him making you land on his chest.

“Y/n..” He whispered your name like a prayer, his breath fanning your face. You frowned confused but then you realized what he was doing. He was slowly leaning in, his lips almost touching yours. You instinctively closed your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach attacking you aggressively, but after a few seconds of waiting for your lips to touch, you felt his warmth dissipate. You snapped your eyes open and stared at him in awe and disbelief.

Loki’s heart was racing, not knowing what was going on with him. He almost kissed you and you didn’t back away, but probably because it was dark and you couldn’t see. You let go of his hand and walked away, making your way to the exit, not even blinking at the scary parts of the tunnel. Once you were outside, you scanned the whole place, looking for a place to hide but soon after you heard him calling out your name.

“Please, wait. What’s wrong?” He asked while he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking away. You turned to face him and poked a finger on his chest

“You.” You took a deep breath and said what you thought you never would.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” He looked at you astonished, a deep red staining his pale skin. “Is it because of the other person?”

“What other person?” Loki truly sounded confused and lost but you’ve had enough. “There’s no one else, ju-”

“Don’t you dare say just me, because we both know that’s not true. I saw the poem.” You turned around to leave, this time he didn’t try to stop you but his words did.

“It’s you.” You felt your guts twist, the nerves and anxiety finally getting to you. You looked at him trying to figure out is his words were true or just a really bad and cruel joke. But all you found was that strange glint and confusion and pain.

“It’s been you for a while, but I know that we are just friends and I’m o-” You cut him off pressing your lips against his, your hands cupping his face gently, afraid to break the dream you thought you were dreaming. He pushed you away slowly and looked at you straight in the eyes, finally understanding.

“Loki, I-” He kissed you this time, his lips soft like silk against your dry ones. It felt so right to be in his arms, kissing him like he was all the air you needed, like you were all he needed. He was holding you close to him, afraid to lose you.

After a while, you managed to separate from each other and walk hand in hand throw the pier, watching the sunset, the birds flying away in the distance. You looked at him and found him staring at you with a big smile.

“Let’s go home.”


	15. Chapter 15

You arrived home in a rush, not quite believing what happened. Loki couldn’t stop looking at you, his dreams of holding you in his arms finally, after months, coming true.

“I can’t believe this is true. I have the feeling that if I stop looking at you, you will disappear.” He said in a small voice. You knew why he feared that, he was your best friend after all, so of course he knew your tendencies when it came to feelings. You knew he could still break your heart, now that you knew that you loved him but he just liked you.

“We should really talk about this, Loki.” You took the pack of cigarettes from your bag and lit one up, trying to avoid the small awkwardness you were feeling. 

“I know, but not tonight please.” You nodded and sat on the couch, taking the ashtray from the table and placing it on your legs. Loki studied all your movements, every word and every sigh you let out.

“Should we watch a movie then?” You asked him, wondering why he didn’t want to talk about it tonight but you wouldn’t force him to speak about the topic. But what if he just wanted sex? What if you agreed to it and then have your heart crushed all over again? A lot of thoughts and doubts crossed your mind and while you were zoning out Loki went to grab two beers and sat next to you far enough to give you the space you might need.

“A penny for your thoughts?” He said while holding out a beer for you, a sweet small smile on his lips, softening all his hard features.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” You blurted out, taking the beer but never looking straight into his eyes.

“Of course I do. I’ve wanted to for months but not tonight. I can wait for as long as you want or need to. I’m not going anywhere whatever you choose to do.”  _ For you, I could wait forever  _ he thought. You finished your cigarette and took a sip from the beer, standing up and finally gathering the courage to glance at him. He was still smiling but you knew it was a different smile, a longing one. 

“I’ll go get changed while you pick the movie.” You watched him nod and you turned around, making your way to your room, breathing deeply trying to ease your nerves. 

You sat on your bed for a while trying to figure out what to say or what to do but nothing seemed to be good enough. After almost ten minutes, Loki stood up and went to your room, standing in front of your closed door.

“Come in!” You said after hearing a few soft knocks on your door. You stood up and fixed your clothes.

“Uhm, I was wondering if you still wanted to watch a movie?” He touched the back of his neck and looked at his feet. You smiled at his obvious nervousness and answered a yes between giggles.

“I’ll get the popcorns, you get the blankets.” You cheerfully added while entering the kitchen, almost jumping in excitement. You loved movie nights with all your heart and that made you think about the possible outcomes of the day. What if after all this feelings revealing the friendship was dead? What if you lost Loki? What if you lost the most important person in your life? All these what ifs were starting to piss you off, since you just wanted to enjoy the fucking moment and not think about what could go wrong tomorrow. You let out a loud huff and took the already finished popcorns from the microwave.

You entered the living room to find Loki curled up on a corner of the couch wrapped in a fluffy blanket staring at the red Universal logo on the screen. You swore your heart swelled, already knowing the movie he chose. 

“How well you know me, sir.” You smirked at him and sat down on the other end of the couch thinking that maybe he sat so far from you because he didn’t want to be close or whatever.

“It’s part of my charm.” You let out a laugh and wrapped yourself in your blanket, pressing play, letting the prologue theme of Crimson Peak relax you.

Loki was pissed at himself for not sitting closer to you, so now he had to stay were he was in order not to bother you. Forty minutes passed and you couldn’t focus on the movie, all you could think about was how to move closer to him without being too obvious, so you started to fix the blanket around your now stretched out legs. After ten minutes, you propped them on the table, sitting now closer to him.

Loki caught your intentions and smiled, but covering it with his hand making you think he was yawning. He started moving slowly as well, trying to get closer to you. Ten minutes more passed and now you were sitting next to each other, your thighs brushing his. You both laughed when he did the most cliché move he’s ever done: stretch to place his arm on your shoulders.

“You know, if you wanted to sit next to me or to cuddle you could’ve just ask.” You said still laughing, but he just laid on your lap looking at you. He was sure he looked like a teen in love for the first time, but he couldn’t care less. You leaned in, your lips brushing his, not sure if he wanted to kiss you again. You started to back off when he grabbed your neck and pressed your lips together. It felt different to your first kiss, which was filled with desperation and hunger. This one was soft and slow, your tongues exploring each other’s mouths. There was no rush, no anger, no pent up tension. Just softness and love. 

You broke the kiss to catch your breath, opening your eyes slowly to find his green ones already staring at yours. You smiled at him and leaned in again to give his lips a small peck.

“Can I sleep with you today?” He asked you, scanning your face looking for rejection. You nodded without hesitation and held his hand, squeezing it lightly. You started to stroke his hair, braiding and straightening his raven locks. He sighed contently but never looked back at you, too immersed in the final part of the movie. 

You tidied the living room and went to your bedroom, Loki following you.

“Okay, just in case, we are not having sex tonight.” He told you while he sat on your bed, smiling reassuringly at you. You nodded and sat on the other side of the bed, getting in the duvet.

“But are you gonna lay or just sit the whole night?” You elbowed him jokingly and he rolled his eyes, getting in the bed as well, turning off the lights.

“Can we cuddle or you will freak out?” He asked already reaching out for your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“You know, you can go fuck yourself.” You snuggled closer to him with a huge grin. He gave you a kiss on your temple and wished you a good night.

“Hmm, same.” You said half asleep, your body slowly shutting down, the emotions of the day knocking you out. 

“I love you.” Loki whispered, knowing you were already asleep, needing to get off his chest the three words he’s wanted to tell you for such a long time.


	16. Chapter 16

Waking up next to you was like a vision for Loki. Your soft hair scattered on the pillow, framing your soft features, the dim light of dawn illuminating your face in an almost divine way. Your mouth was slightly open, breathing heavily due to the smoking habit you had. Loki was leaning on the headboard looking at you sweetly and longing, knowing that he had to leave you soon since he had to prepare himself for the long day that awaited him. 

You slowly woke up, stretching your arm to the other end of the bed to find your sleeping partner, but you were greeted by an empty and cold bed. You sighed and sat down, rubbing the sleep off of your tired eyes. You scanned the bed and found nothing, disappointing you since you were waiting for him to at least write a note or something. 

You jumped out of bed excited, remembering that today you would be able to finally meet the God of Mischief, your favorite writer. He was dropping a new book so that’s why you were even more eager to get the day started. You texted Shay telling her at what time you were seeing her and texted Loki wishing him a good day, wherever he was at. You went to the kitchen, the hunger already too strong to ignore it and when you reached the counter you found a piece of paper next to a cup of cold coffee. 

 

_ “This will probably be cold when you see it, but I just wanted to make your first coffee as always. Sorry I couldn’t wait for you to wake up, but I will be seeing you tonight.  _

_ Loki ;)” _

 

You clutched the note to your heart and kept it in your pocket, grabbing the mug and heating the cold brew in the microwave. You knew it wouldn’t taste the same as a freshly brewed coffee, but you really wanted to drink Loki’s. You had two hours left until Shay showed up, so you prepared a little letter to give to the writer, thanking him for his books since they were lifesavers when you suffered from a terrible heartbreak, he made you believe through his inked papers that you could love again and you would be forever grateful for that. You really wanted to make a good impression so you chose your snake print blouse with your mom jeans and black oxfords. The blouse was green with golden scales and you chose it because you knew the God of Mischief adores green and gold, since they were the colors he always chose in his books. 

 

“Are you sure it’s not too early to go?” Shay asked you while parking her car close to the bookshop. You both were nervous but the reasons why were completely different, you knew Shay was not a big fan since she barely spoke to you about his books, so maybe she had a fight with Bucky or something. You didn’t want to ask anything because maybe it wasn’t your place to ask or she just didn’t want to talk about it, so you just waited for her to speak about whatever she wanted to.

“My coworker told me people are queueing since 6 am, so I think coming at the opening time it’s not that early.” You walked silently to the door, full of teenagers and middle aged women talking lively about books and the writer. 

_ “It’s the third time I come to his book signings, he is just so sweet and handsome.” _

_ “Ugh don’t get me started with his voice and his green eyes.” _

_ “What about his hair and his long fingers? The things I would let him do to me with those…” _

The thirsty comments went on and on, making you more nervous at the idea of this handsome writer talking to you. Shay was very quiet, trying to avoid hearing the comments, since she knew damn too well who they were talking about. She knew something bad was going to happen, knowing how much this writer meant to you. 

“I think I’ll go grab a coffee, do you want one?” She asked you in a sweet tone, trying to hide her nervousness. You frowned but nodded, telling her what and how you wanted your coffee. You’d been standing in the queue for at least two hours, but you could finally see his table, but there was a lot of people around for you to see him.

-

Loki was greeting each client with a huge smile and words full of gratitude. He had a sinking feeling in his chest that something was about to happen and he hoped and wished that you didn’t remember about the book signing. He knew you would never forgive him for keeping this from you and even less knowing what his books meant for you. He was grabbing a new pen from his bag when he saw a pair of chunky boots he would recognize anywhere. He gulped and looked up, his smiling fading.

 

You were about to throw up due to the nerves of finally meeting your idol, the book and the note clutched to your chest and a nervous smile playing on your lips. You felt like a teenager all over again, but everything faded when you saw who was sitting in the table, looking at your boots. When Loki looked at you, you knew you could never express how you were feeling.

“What are you doing here?” You spat, the shock not letting you believe what was pretty obvious. You heard Shay muttering a low “oh shit” when she arrived with the coffees, unsure if she should approach you or give you some space. Loki rose his eyebrow at you, wondering why you made such a dumb and obvious question.

“Please, don’t tell me you are the writer.” You heard your voice break, the rage boiling in your veins. Why would he lie about something so big? Why did he never tell you he was your favorite writer? That he wrote the books that saved you when you were at your worst. Loki nodded, his eyes never meeting yours, afraid to see something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deal with.

“We are done here.” You started to turn around but remembered the paper you had written him, you crumpled it and threw it to his face, startling him. 

“Y/n, wait. Let me explain.” He stood up and approached you, all the fangirls around you gasping and whispering to each other, but never moving towards the fight that everyone knew it was about to unleash. 

“What? You feel ashamed of me, a simple worker with no career or stable job?” You knew assuming stuff was wrong, but right now your brain couldn’t function in a logical way.  He shook his head and opened his mouth, trying to explain himself but you just couldn’t do this here and not with him. 

“Shay, let’s go home please.” You turned around and left Loki standing in the middle of the bookshop, surrounded by his fans looking between the two of you startled, unable to move or form a simple word. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to re-upload due to a huge plot hole I discovered today while reading all the chapters again. It's just a change in the days that pass.

“Y/n, I don’t want to be rude or meddle but-”

“Then don’t.” You cut Shay off. After what happened in the bookshop, Shay and Bucky offered you to stay with them for as long as you needed, thinking that you would just stay for the rest of the day, not for almost two days. You knew you were overreacting by pushing Loki away and giving him the silent treatment, even when he came to see you to talk to you but after a few tries, he decided to give you the space you needed. He stopped calling, texting and showing up, he knew for sure you would want to talk to him sooner or later.

“Well, I have to. You need to talk to him, or at least hear what he has to say.” You rolled your eyes annoyed, because you knew she was right. You began to protest but Bucky cut you off.

“Y/n, you should hear it from him but since you are being a stubborn child, I’ll tell you. He didn’t tell you because as you know, he is a very famous writer and the tabloids are always waiting to expose anything.” Bucky sighed loudly and kept talking. “When he showed up to one of our last exhibitions, there was a rumor saying we were a polyamorous relationship. He just wanted to protect you from all this.” You fell silent, the stupidity of your acts weighting on your chest. Bucky shook his head in disagreement and left the room, Shay looking at you with a huge grin plastered on her face.

“What?” You asked her raising an eyebrow fighting the urge to smile at her face.

“Do you realize you sucked your idol’s dick?” She bursted out laughing when you hit her with a pillow, her laugh making you laugh as well. After almost ten minutes laughing like maniacs, you wiped your tears and laid down on the bed, sighing while closing your eyes.

“I should really go home and talk to him, right?” Shay answered a “yup” and patted your leg, she stood up from the bed and made her way out of the room.

“You better get the fuck out of my house soon if you don’t want Bucky to murder you.” She added from the door between laughs. “He’s been trying to fuck my brains out on the kitchen counter but…” She whispered and shrugged, winking an eye at you and closing the door behind her. You shook your head and tried to control your laughter. 

After you gathered your stuff, you went to the kitchen to tell Shay and Bucky you were leaving and found them in a very intense makeout session. Shay was sitting in the counter and Bucky was kissing and groping her everywhere.

“Uhm, guys I’m gonna go home. Thank you so much for everything and yeah, bye!” You didn’t even stop or waited for them to answer and bolted out of the apartment. You grabbed your phone and opened Loki’s chat, scrolling through all his messages you left on read. All of them pained you but not as much as the last one.

 

**_Loki_ ** _ : I know you are hurt and I played with your trust, but I want you to know that I’d never hide you from anyone and I would love to let the world know my heart is only yours. I don’t expect you to come back soon, since I know you need your time to process what I’ve done, I just hope you will try to forgive me. I am truly sorry and I hope this isn’t too broken, I really want to fix this.   _

 

You wiped a silent tear that fell from your eyes and texted him asking if he was at home and you received and immediate response, he was waiting for you. He waited for you.

As you walked down the streets, the cold air hitting your face like sharp knives, you were thinking about how stupid you had been, leaving him like that for almost two days and not even daring to pick up the phone or answer a text. You decided it was time to call the only person that new Loki more than you did.

“Hello? Thor?” 

-

 

After more than an hour speaking to Thor, everything seemed to be much clearer. When you told him that you were in love with Loki he just laughed, admitting that he knew what was going to happen as soon as you two really got to know each other and that it was all planned from the start. The advice he gave you was not to run away from his brother, since he also had his own traumas and bad experiences. Odin, his father, made him feel abandoned and rejected so it was very hard for him to trust that someone else wouldn’t do the same. You knew damn too well you would never do that to him, but as Thor said  _ “Loki is not in your mind to know what you are feeling and thinking”.  _

You gave your cigarette a couple of more puffs and threw it away, taking a deep breath and entering the apartment building. The elevator ride was eternal, your hand sore because you couldn’t stop scratching it due to the anxiety you were feeling.

As soon as Loki heard the keys on the lock his heart sank deeper in his chest, the strong fear of remorse and rejection hitting him like a truck. He stood up and ran to the bathroom trying to fix the disaster he was. His hair was a greasy tangled mess so he combed it and made a braid, he brushed his teeth rapidly and washed his face with cold water to clear his mind. When he came out of the bathroom, he found you sitting in the couch looking at him, a sad smile on your lips. He tried his best not to run to your arms and crush you with his body so instead, he walked slowly and sat on the other side of the couch, waiting for you to make the first move.

What he would have never imagined was you throwing yourself into his arms pressing his body to yours.

“Oh god Loki, I’ve missed you so much, I am so sorry.” You cried, all the pent up emotions finally flowing out of your mind. You started rambling and mumbling unintelligible apologies while Loki just sat there, stroking gently your hair, waiting for you to calm down.

“Love, there’s nothing to forgive. I should be the one apologizing for being such a jerk. I know I should have told you as soon as we talked about our jobs. But I didn’t and then everything happened way too fast and I thought it was too late to tell you.”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but the worst one was letting you leave from that book store without an explanation.” You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off.

“No, please. Let me finish, because if I don’t do this now, I’ll probably never be able to say it.” You nodded when you realized he was waiting for your permission so he could keep speaking.

“These past days had been like hell for me, I couldn’t eat or sleep and all I could think about was you. I’ve missed you like I’ve never missed anyone else in my life and even though I’ve known this since the first time I really saw you, I’ve realized I’m totally and crazy in love with you. There’s no one else for me, just you.” He took a deep breath and stared at you, waiting for some sort of answer in your shocked expression.

“Y/n? I’m sorry if this is too much, I just had to get it off my chest.” You really wanted to answer that you loved him too, that you felt the same way, but your voice was not coming out of your mouth, so you just pressed your head against his chest and cried again, all the new emotions overwhelming you. You managed to stop crying after a while and looked at him, ready to talk.

“I- I really thought I knew what love was. I was certain that I was in love with Eric and that he was the one. But you buried yourself so deep in my heart that now I don’t know who I even was before I met you. You’ve been there when I needed you the most and you‘ve taught me to embrace myself and my weirdness, you’ve taught me how to love and how to be loved.” You pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes and letting the last tears run down your cheeks. Loki wiped them off and placed his hand on your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, trying to reassure his fears and trying to make him feel all the love you had for him. 

Loki deepened the kiss and you straddled him, wanting and needing to be closer to him. You broke the kiss and looked at him, finally understanding the odd look he always had when he looked at you. Love and desire.


	18. Chapter 18

You woke up to an empty bed again. You stretched your arms and smiled remembering last night’s events. You felt like a huge burden had been taken off of your shoulders and now you could finally breathe. 

The first night you slept with Loki, it was cold and loveless, you were both seeking pleasure and you were also drunk. But last night was a pure expression of love and adoration. He worshipped you and your body like a goddess, exploring every inch of skin with his lips, leaving kisses and marks everywhere. You learned all his weak spots and what drove him wild, spending as much time as you could caressing and loving his body. 

You really thought sex was going to be weird since he was your best friend and he knew so much about you, but you were wrong. 

 

“Are you finally going nuts?” Loki asked you from the door staring at you in awe since you were giggling alone. You sat down to look at him wrapping the duvet around your naked body. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants that hung loosely on his hips, his torso naked exposing all his muscles. He was carrying a tray with two cups of coffee and breakfast.

“Thinking of you makes me go nuts.” You answered him shooting after a huge sweet smile when he approached the bed. He left the tray next to you and leaned in to give your lips a small peck.

“Loki, stop thinking so loud and ask me whatever you want to know.” Your breakfast was almost finished when you realized something was off, Loki was usually the one that did all the talking in the mornings. He swallowed the strawberry he was chewing and cleared his throat nervously.

“I was thinking that maybe we could... I mean...If you want to...we could go together to tonight’s party?” You set aside your cup of coffee and stared at him frowning in confusion. You thought it was obvious since you already lived together and you both were going to the same party at Shay’s house, unless his question meant something deeper.

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” You knew you sounded way too amused but seeing Loki all nervous and trying to be cute as fuck made you weak.

“Maybe?” You giggled and kissed him, sensing his body instantly relax when your skin touched his. You pulled away and smiled at him.

“Oh my god, I just remembered I have something for you!” You stood up and ran to your room, trying to remember where you placed the small box. Once you had it you ran back to Loki’s room and jumped on the bed, sitting down in front of a startled and confused Loki.

“Remember you asked me to buy for you a bow tie? Well, I did.” You handed him the small box and stared at him with a wide smile, waiting for his reaction. Loki took the little piece carefully, looking at every single detail in it. He looked up at you and smiled.

“I love it! It’s so original, thank you very much.” It was a black bow tie with little constellations in white and it perfectly matched your dress, that’s why you bought it, even though you were just friends when you did. Deep down, you knew you were going together to that party.

“You know what’s the best of it?” Loki shook his head and waited for you to answer.

“It matches my dress.”

-

When Loki saw you in your dress he thought that the statement that he was in love was not accurate enough. You were fixing your hair in the bathroom so you totally missed the look in his face and the silent tears that fell from his green eyes. He felt so overwhelmed by all the feelings he was experimenting all at once. He was always the second best for everyone but his mother, and when she died, he thought no one would ever love him as much as she did. Loki was totally wrong.

“Do you think this is going to work out?” You stopped dead in your tracks, ignoring the freezing air of the winter night. You stood in front of him and pressed your hand to his chest.

“If you don’t want to go, we can always order takeout and have dinner at home.” Loki shook his head, feeling guilty because you didn’t get the question he was implicitly asking. 

“I mean us. I don’t want to lose you, ever.” He looked at the hand you had pressed on his chest, trying to avoid your gaze. With your other hand, you cupped his cheek and made him look at you.

“We’ve been inseparable friends for two months, roommates for almost a year. You know me better than anyone and I know you just as well.” He leaned into your touch and let out a sigh. “We might be like fire and gasoline, but I would rather burn with you than walk away from this because I’m scared.”

“Are you scared?” Loki asked trying not to cry with your confession. He gulped and looked at you with glazed eyes, the fear permanent in his stare. You moved the hand from his face to his chest, so both of your hands were now resting there.

“Of course I am. But I’ve been afraid for too long, trying to fill my empty heart with sex and alcohol and the only thing that worked was you. I’m in love with you, every little part that makes you you. Besides, we haven’t fought since we became friends, so there’s nothing to worry about.” 

“You might be right. I guess then we should burn tonight.” He smirked at you and you hit his chest playfully laughing alongside him. 

After dinner, you were chatting lively with Bucky about the exhibition he was preparing while Shay and Loki were nowhere to be seen, probably talking about their stuff more privately.

“So, I can guess things with Loki went okay?” Bucky asked you, a wide grin telling you he already knew your answer. You threw at him a bashful smile, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Yes, we finally admitted our feelings so I guess we are now together?” You shrugged and waited for his answer, but just when he was about to talk, Shay and Loki entered the room to make an announcement. Everyone fell silent and stared at them.

“As you all know...Buck come here” She gestured for Bucky to move besides her and so he did. “As I was saying, you all know we’ve been together for five years and I’m 1000% sure he is the love of my life, so…” Shay kneeled in front of Bucky and took out a small velvet box, grinning like a dork. “Would you marry me?”

Bucky lifted her from the floor in a hug and spun her around, her dress floating like a cloud. He kissed her with tears in his eyes and answered a million times yes. You were shedding a few happy tears for your friends and looked at Loki, who was staring at them crying as well. He looked at you and gestured you to go next to him, so you stood up confused and went to his side.

“You are not asking me to marry you, right?” You asked him in his ear jokingly, but just in case you wanted to let him know. 

“You will see now.” Loki started clapping and congratulating the couple and the whole room did the same, all their friends cheering them and joking about the odd proposal. After their moment died down, Loki cleared his throat and held your hand, everyone’s attention now focused on you two. You were starting to panic, your hands sweating, not sure what was going on right now. 

“Hello dear friends. I want to introduce you to Y/n, my not so newly found muse and the woman I am in love with.” Everyone gasped and Loki laughed. “By your reactions, I’m sure you all read my new book, so she is the one Sassa, the protagonist, is inspired in.” He kept talking about the book for a while and you quietly moved to your seat, overwhelmed by the fact that one of your favorite characters of all times was inspired by you. Now that you thought of it, you found the resemblances in the plot and in the main characters. Loki wrote about you and him even before you were a thing or even friends. That meant he had been in love with you a long while but instead of telling you, he wrote about it. You looked at him and felt a warmness fill your heart when you caught him staring at you already with a wide smile. 

The television was broadcasting live the party at Rockefeller Center and when the clock struck midnight, you kissed Loki. All the sounds and voices around you disappearing until all you could feel was him.  

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end folks, hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did.

“Do you really think this dress is appropriate for the wedding? Isn’t it too similar to yours but a different color?” You wondered while looking at yourself in the huge mirror. Jane nodded and hummed, trying to hide her urge to murder you.

“You had a fucking year to buy a dress and instead of doing this with time, you decide to come to Norway empty handed. Shopping a day before the wedding, unbelievable.” Jane shook her head in a jokingly manner and you stuck out your tongue, knowing she wasn’t pissed at all.

“You know who I am Jane Foster, why would I change?” She threw at you the shop’s catalogue laughing and you avoided the impact rapidly, also laughing like a maniac. You really missed having Jane close but knowing that she was happy and successful was enough for you. You smoothed the sides of the ball gown slowly, taking in the features of the black gown. The top was a black mesh bustier, the cleavage covered in more mesh and it had huge puff sleeves with floral lace. The bottom part was made up of multiple layers of fabric with folds in the middle of the front part. It was very beautiful but very similar to Jane’s wedding dress.

“Y/n, stop overthinking it. I love it and yes it looks similar to mine, so what? It clearly shows our differences, like the killer aura you have or the spooky boyfriend you have compared to mine.” You elbowed her and smiled, thinking about what would Loki wear.

“You know, Loki is not like that at all. He is like a light elf trapped in a vampire’s body. A bummer for me since I adore his spooky features, but I guess that’s cool.” You shrugged and winked at Jane, who was a bit shocked to learn that his future brother in law wasn’t what she expected at all in the intimacy.

You closed the thick velvet curtain of the changing room and you frowned when you heard Jane clear her throat, knowing she was about to ask something you maybe wouldn’t like at all.

“He is not…I don’t know if I should ask this…” She started mumbling inaudibly and you stuck your head out looking at her amused.

“Just spit it out already.” Her face turned a crimson red and you suddenly understood what was all about and knowing damn well what she wanted to know.

“He is very soft and loving but most of the times things get out of control, because of me.” You started getting dressed, your companion dead silent.

“One day we had to stop because I was about to faint. He was choking me too…intensely.” You giggled remembering that night. You laughed now but in the moment you really thought you were going to die. Loki realized he went too far and stopped abruptly, crying and shaking your body and you just blinked, trying to even your breathing. After a few seconds passed, you sat down slowly and smiled at him tiredly, your sore throat and dizziness making it impossible for you to continue. Loki hugged you still crying, peppering soft kisses all over your face and apologizing. You both fell asleep in each other’s arms and the next morning continued where you left it off, the incident forgotten.

Jane started coughing probably because she choked on her own spit after hearing your story. You slid the curtain open and took the gown, patting your shocked friend on the shoulder.

“I can’t believe you two are so kinky…wow. And I thought I was kinky because I like to get spanked. A wild life, indeed.” You were driving to Thor’s house after buying the dress and while Jane was driving and still thinking about your char, you were texting Loki.

You giggled at your phone and put it back on your bag to get out of the car and get the huge box where the dress was. You ran to the front door and waited for Thor to open, just to be pushed aside by your whole body. You ran up the stairs but couldn’t avoid hearing the exchange of words between Jane and Thor.

“How can they be so soft and sweet  **all** the time?” Thor asked, his voice full of adoration for the both of you. You heard Jane snort loudly and you started regretting telling her about your sex adventures.

“Baby, don’t ask things you will later regret knowing.” You shook your head and giggled, finally getting to where Loki was.

He was sitting on the window ledge focused on his book and sipping on his tea. You left your bags on the bed and approached him silently, you knew he wouldn’t speak until he finished the page or chapter he was on, so you just stood next to him quietly. You reached for his shoulders and pulled him towards your body to hug him, his head resting on your chest. He closed the book and left it next to him, his arms embracing your middle and pulling you closer to him.

“I think I fucked up…” You said trying to contain your laughter. Loki looked at you confused, but smiled after seeing the huge grin plastered on your face. You traced his jawline with your fingertips and slipped your hand on the back of his head, stroking a few strands of hair.

“What did you do, love?” His voice sounded more curious than concerned and you started laughing softly.

“I may have told Jane about  _the_ incident and I’m pretty sure she is now discussing our sex life with your brother.” Loki shook his head laughing and slid his hands to your ass, grabbing it and pressing you against him so you straddled his lap.

“Well, let’s give them something to talk about then.” He whispered in your ear seductively, making you shiver in anticipation.

“I still have the handcuffs we bought. And I also brought the strap.” Loki smirked and kissed you, trying to show all the love he felt for you in a single kiss.

“I love you so much I could die.” You smiled at his statement and answered him with a kiss, full of passion and love as well. He stood up with you in his arms and carried you to the bed, throwing everything that was in it to the floor. You knew it was going to be a long, long afternoon. Poor Jane and Thor, you thought while grabbing the lube and strap from your suitcase.

-

A round of applause and laughter filled the room after Darcy’s speech, Thor and Jane wiping their happy tears. Loki placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze, since he knew how nervous you were that morning while you prepared the speech. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and stood up, fixing your dress and walked towards the stage. You faced the few steps with bravery since you were drunk as fuck and your heels weren’t helping to keep you physically stable. You counted each step trying to focus and you successfully reached the end, walking shakingly towards the middle. You patted the microphone jokingly and asked if it was working, making everyone laugh at your state.

“Okay, this is probably the hardest thing someone has ever asked me to do. The heels, the dress and the alcohol, plus steps? Only Jane could be so rude.” You looked at your friend and she winked at you and that calmed you instantly.

“These two assholes have been together for as long as I can remember and being here today means a hell lot to me.” You sniffed and wiped a few tears that had fallen from your eyes. “Thor, you’ve been my best friend for a long time. You’ve always been there for me, when I failed my first exam you were with me, when I got my first heartbreak, when I dropped out…and you were there when my life became a mess and needed an escape.” You smiled sadly, remembering your past life.  “Being here with you today means the world to me and I seriously can’t wait to see you two make your family bigger, with little astrophysics and mathematics running around your house.” You raised your forgotten champagne glass and made a toast. “For you my friends, for a happy life together and for me to be with you to see it.”

You ran off the stage and went to hug the happy couple, crying happily. You excused yourself to go grab their present and went back to their table.

“I love you two so much, I hope you have an amazing honeymoon.” You handed them the box, smiling mischievously. You bought them a lot of sex toys, ropes and handcuffs, three different kind of lubes and some money as well.

“I can’t believe you.” Jane said shaking her head but hugging you. She took the opportunity to confess something to you while hugging.

“I’m so happy to have two holes right now. Thank you for this amazing gift.”  

 

 

You were drinking in the bar with some guests when someone placed their hand to your back trying to have your attention. You excused yourself and turned around, shooting a bright smile to your boyfriend.

“Would you grant me the honor to be your dancing partner for tonight?” He asked doing a reverence and kissing your hand. You giggled drunkenly and nodded, answering with a soft yes. You followed him and you started swaying to the music. Your eyes widened when you started hearing the first notes of the song, your heart swelling.

“Loki, did you…?” He nodded answering your question, already knowing what you meant.

 

_Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby_

_As long as you’re with me you’ll be just fine_

_Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby_

_Nothing’s gonna take you from my side._

 

Loki and you were singing along softly, your bodies as close as they could be, your head pressed to his chest, his heart beating rapidly. The soft material of his tux was not as welcoming as his skin, but you both knew you had to stay in the party, everything else could wait as long as you were together. He spun you around and when your body collapsed against his you kissed him, hot tears ruining your makeup, but you couldn’t care less. He cupped your face and you ran your fingers through his soft hair, pulling him closer to you. Every kiss felt like the first one and every time he told you he loved you felt like a prayer. When you were together, no matter how or what you were doing, you felt happy.

If you could go back in time and tell your past self that everything was going to work out fine, you would.

You were once tired of running away but that lead you to this exact moment, it lead you to be surrounded by happiness and love. You could now run away but with someone always by your side.


End file.
